Today was a sad day for me. A quest that I was on was abruptly ended with a click of a mouse and a feeling of shock and disappointment. Today, I accidentally hit the 'New Game' button during an active, unfinished game of Free Cell sending my streak of 4751 wins in a row back down to zero. I was only 249 wins away from my goal of 5000.
There were so many instances where I could have given up. That game that took me more than half an hour to figure out. The games that I realized that I was too tired to finish and felt that I needed to push through anyway. After all of that perserverance and concentration it was all taken away with an accidental click of a mouse.
For a moment I considered giving up the whole enterprise and filling the time that I had spent playing Free Cell doing something else like reading for class, calling my friends, learning how to bake a pie, or even writing those wedding Thank-You cards that keep staring me in the face. But something tugged at my fingers and lead me to play the next game and to keep pursuing my goal - only 4999 games to go.
Other than this major disappointment today things have been a bit stressful these days. I was an idiot to take 5 courses right after internship but I guess I will be happier when I only have 4 next semester. For now I am usually in the apartment reading or writing another paper while trying to find a balance between all that we have to do in the course of just one week. Married life is great, don't get me wrong, but it would be greater if I had less homework :).
My birthday is on Wednesday and while I am excited to be 26 part of me would rather forget that it's my birthday and move on with life. October has been one of my most favorite months since before I can remember but in the last two years it has been less than stellar. My Mom died on Oct 10, 2004 and my Aunt died Oct 17, 2004 (yup, a week apart) and then one of my most beloved Theology professors at Valpo, Dr. David Truemper, lost his battle with colon cancer on Oct 30 in the same year. So all three of these very important people were lost in the same month in the same year and so October just doesn't have the same spirit for me as it had in the past. But I am taking things one day at a time and letting myself embrace the feelings of loss and pain that accompany this month while still finding joy in the fact that I am now married to the most wonderful man on the planet and that I can still enjoy my birthday even if I can't enjoy it with my Mom.
I promise to post more in the future.
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Monday, September 11, 2006
Too Long
You know that it's been too long since you have blogged when you almost forget what your user name and password is for the site.
Well a lot has happened since my last post in July. I went to San Antonio, TX for the ELCA National Youth Gathering with 9 youth from my internship congregation. I wrapped up my internship with a great final Sunday with a fun brunch and a bit of hilarity when my supervisor debuted the three songs that she wrote/modified to honor me. With the help of my Dad and then future in-laws, and Tim I packed up the house in Connecticut and moved back to Philadelphia and the seminary. It was the biggest move that I have done since I acquired some furniture and more stuff in general in the last year. Oh, and it was the hottest week of the summer with temps in the 100s for the two days that it took to move back to Philly so that just made the process that much more fun.
We had no sooner moved my stuff into the apartment that we were throttled into full on wedding mode. The two and a half weeks that we had between the move from CT and the wedding FLEW by so quickly! We squeezed two bridal showers, a dress fitting, made the programs, entertained various guests, and endured the general chaos that ensues before a wedding in about 17 days - it was nuts. But, the stress and organization that we kept in the planning process paid off when it was time to relax and enjoy the wedding from start to finish. From the rehearsal on Friday to the brunch on Sunday everything was absolutely wonderful! Tim and I were really quite relaxed for the whole wedding day and I believe that it was our easy going attitude about the whole thing that contributed to the day going as well as it did. If you would like to see pictures you can go to http://perfectday.smugmug.com/weddings and look for the Annemarie and Tim wedding - we absolutely love the pictures and were amazed at the candids that the photographers caught.
After the wedding we headed off to Punta Cana, Dominican Republic for our honeymoon. We had mixed opinions about the whole experience. I think that the DR (Dominican Republic) is still struggling with the tourism that has really picked up in the last 5 years or so. At the resort we encountered a mixed reception from the staff - about 1/3 were happy to see and help us and the other 2/3 were not as willing to act like they were enjoying their job. In the end the goal of the trip, to relax and enjoy time away from the real world, was most certainly acheived as we enjoyed afternoons by the pool with drinks that flowed like water. We would not, however, travel back to the DR in the near future and would like to try some other Caribbean islands like Jamaica or the Bahamas on our next trip.
So now we are successfully moved into our apartment with just a few more things to find a place for - like the microwave and toaster oven. We are really enjoying married life and finally getting to live together after 20 months of being engaged. Tim has been having some fun with the food processor and making his own hummus and salsa. His next project will be some homemade pesto sauce and so far he has done a great job with cooking. I am looking forward to trying to bake some pies and finding new ways to help us develop healthy eating habits together.
Life is not slowing down now that we are married. We have just started classes at the seminary and we will both be working hard as we finish our studies. Tim will be looking to finish his thesis for his Master of Sacred Theology degree and I will have 5 classes this semester as I continue to make progress towards the goal of ordination. We should know where we will be living next year by mid-February so for now we are just hanging out and enjoying the student life.
Hopefully this update will spur me to write more in the near future. Being back in classes with a new group of folks on campus might just be the inspiration I needed to write more here. Although, being a senior at seminary also means that you no longer care about anyone else but the friends that you already have - we dont know most people on campus because we were in internship when they started or they are brand new to campus and its just too much effort to make new friends that we will probably not see for a while again. Oh well, they will just think that we are just stuck up seniors like we thought other seniors were - so continues the circle of life at seminary.
Well a lot has happened since my last post in July. I went to San Antonio, TX for the ELCA National Youth Gathering with 9 youth from my internship congregation. I wrapped up my internship with a great final Sunday with a fun brunch and a bit of hilarity when my supervisor debuted the three songs that she wrote/modified to honor me. With the help of my Dad and then future in-laws, and Tim I packed up the house in Connecticut and moved back to Philadelphia and the seminary. It was the biggest move that I have done since I acquired some furniture and more stuff in general in the last year. Oh, and it was the hottest week of the summer with temps in the 100s for the two days that it took to move back to Philly so that just made the process that much more fun.
We had no sooner moved my stuff into the apartment that we were throttled into full on wedding mode. The two and a half weeks that we had between the move from CT and the wedding FLEW by so quickly! We squeezed two bridal showers, a dress fitting, made the programs, entertained various guests, and endured the general chaos that ensues before a wedding in about 17 days - it was nuts. But, the stress and organization that we kept in the planning process paid off when it was time to relax and enjoy the wedding from start to finish. From the rehearsal on Friday to the brunch on Sunday everything was absolutely wonderful! Tim and I were really quite relaxed for the whole wedding day and I believe that it was our easy going attitude about the whole thing that contributed to the day going as well as it did. If you would like to see pictures you can go to http://perfectday.smugmug.com/weddings and look for the Annemarie and Tim wedding - we absolutely love the pictures and were amazed at the candids that the photographers caught.
After the wedding we headed off to Punta Cana, Dominican Republic for our honeymoon. We had mixed opinions about the whole experience. I think that the DR (Dominican Republic) is still struggling with the tourism that has really picked up in the last 5 years or so. At the resort we encountered a mixed reception from the staff - about 1/3 were happy to see and help us and the other 2/3 were not as willing to act like they were enjoying their job. In the end the goal of the trip, to relax and enjoy time away from the real world, was most certainly acheived as we enjoyed afternoons by the pool with drinks that flowed like water. We would not, however, travel back to the DR in the near future and would like to try some other Caribbean islands like Jamaica or the Bahamas on our next trip.
So now we are successfully moved into our apartment with just a few more things to find a place for - like the microwave and toaster oven. We are really enjoying married life and finally getting to live together after 20 months of being engaged. Tim has been having some fun with the food processor and making his own hummus and salsa. His next project will be some homemade pesto sauce and so far he has done a great job with cooking. I am looking forward to trying to bake some pies and finding new ways to help us develop healthy eating habits together.
Life is not slowing down now that we are married. We have just started classes at the seminary and we will both be working hard as we finish our studies. Tim will be looking to finish his thesis for his Master of Sacred Theology degree and I will have 5 classes this semester as I continue to make progress towards the goal of ordination. We should know where we will be living next year by mid-February so for now we are just hanging out and enjoying the student life.
Hopefully this update will spur me to write more in the near future. Being back in classes with a new group of folks on campus might just be the inspiration I needed to write more here. Although, being a senior at seminary also means that you no longer care about anyone else but the friends that you already have - we dont know most people on campus because we were in internship when they started or they are brand new to campus and its just too much effort to make new friends that we will probably not see for a while again. Oh well, they will just think that we are just stuck up seniors like we thought other seniors were - so continues the circle of life at seminary.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Checking Out
So I was at SUPERvision (I capitalize the 'super' because I want to make myself think that the experience is something super even though it is usually pretty average) last week and my supervisor recalled to me a conversation she had with some people from NJ the week before. They asked her if I was "checking out" since my time here on internship was coming to an end and I she emphatically answered that I was definitely not slowing down in my work. While I was flattered at this praise and recognition of my hard work I had to stop and think about whether this was true. That same day I won my 4000th game of free cell in a row and I have probably watched more World Cup Soccer matches than she thinks I have.
The idea of 'checking out' at the end of a work term is something that I do not think we can avoid. Personally, I have other things on my mind besides internship responsibilities with an upcoming wedding and getting ready to move into an apartment at the seminary. As the countdown to the wedding gets smaller my checklist gets longer that is beginning to get more of my attention than internship related work. In all honesty, I would rather be doing wedding stuff than internship stuff anyway. Keeping myself focused on the projects and responsibilities of the church has been hard but not impossible and so I guess I have been able to keep from making it known to others that I am 'checking out' but in my heart I know that I am.
23 days to go until I move back to NJ
The idea of 'checking out' at the end of a work term is something that I do not think we can avoid. Personally, I have other things on my mind besides internship responsibilities with an upcoming wedding and getting ready to move into an apartment at the seminary. As the countdown to the wedding gets smaller my checklist gets longer that is beginning to get more of my attention than internship related work. In all honesty, I would rather be doing wedding stuff than internship stuff anyway. Keeping myself focused on the projects and responsibilities of the church has been hard but not impossible and so I guess I have been able to keep from making it known to others that I am 'checking out' but in my heart I know that I am.
23 days to go until I move back to NJ
Monday, June 26, 2006
"When you grow up..."
One of the more challenging aspects of being an intern is making sure that your role in the congregation is clear as a pastoral leader. I thought that I had done a pretty good job of this through insisting that I be called 'Vicar Annemarie' or 'VAm' and yet today was a wake up call. One of the dear women from the congregation was trying to pay me a compliment - which I was flattered by - by saying "When you grow up you could come be the pastor back at this congregation".
"When you grow up..." I am 25 years old so how old do I need to be before I am considered grown up? I know that she did not mean to sound as ignorant as she did but the fact is that many people in this congregation have trouble taking me seriously because they see me as their daughter, granddaughter, or neice and when you care about someone like that you cheer them on no matter what they are doing. It is nice to have that support but I need them to be my parishoners more than I need them to be my family. In a year I will be ordained and, barring any kind of radical plastic surgery, I will look exactly the same as I do now and I begin to worry about how I can help people to see me as their pastor and not the teenager that they just want to pat on the back.
I just want to be myself with people. If I have to go over the top with the 'adult' behavior people might not feel like I am approachable enough so I am trying to find a good balance. I think that this will be something that I will need to work towards for a while.
"When you grow up..." I am 25 years old so how old do I need to be before I am considered grown up? I know that she did not mean to sound as ignorant as she did but the fact is that many people in this congregation have trouble taking me seriously because they see me as their daughter, granddaughter, or neice and when you care about someone like that you cheer them on no matter what they are doing. It is nice to have that support but I need them to be my parishoners more than I need them to be my family. In a year I will be ordained and, barring any kind of radical plastic surgery, I will look exactly the same as I do now and I begin to worry about how I can help people to see me as their pastor and not the teenager that they just want to pat on the back.
I just want to be myself with people. If I have to go over the top with the 'adult' behavior people might not feel like I am approachable enough so I am trying to find a good balance. I think that this will be something that I will need to work towards for a while.
Friday, June 23, 2006
So much to say
There are so many days when I am in the car or in my office and think to myself "I should blog about this today..." but then I get home and completely forget to blog about whatever happened that day. From feeling fat to wedding stress and wanting to kill my boss there have been various topics on my mind. Lately they have been more wedding related than anything else but what do you expect when we have less than two months to go and I live 200 miles away from home?
I had a fitting on Monday for my wedding dress. At this point in the process the dress fittings should be something to look forward to because they put everything into perspective and you realize how great the day is going to be. Well I walked away from that fitting feeling like a cow and had no support from my Maid of Honor that was there with me. I never smiled once the whole time and all she could say was 'smile!', not 'what is the matter' or 'you look great'. It made me miss my Valpo girls a lot because from freshman year on I never felt like I was getting anything less than an honest and supportive opinion from any of my friends. My MOH is a friend from high school and I think that we have grown apart more than either of us expected to which is fine but right now it's frustrating because she is just not catching on.
It was also hard to be at a dress fitting without my Mom. Actually, the whole dress process has been particularly difficult to do without my Mom. From day one of shopping I have been trying to keep my emotions in check and just get through it without too many hiccups and I think it caused me to settle on a dress that fit the criteria that I thought that I wanted when it might not be my 'dream' dress. I never had a 'dream' dress and this dress is going to be just fine but I think that any dress that I would have gotten would still feel like a mistake because Mom was not able to help. I will say that Karrie Tallon is my personal hero right now because she emailed me from Rome, Italy to tell me that everything will be ok and that Mom really is with me in this whole process and would be so happy with the choices I have made - especially Tim :)
I have about 5 weeks left on internship and there are moments when it feels like 5 weeks is not enough time to finish all that I need to and other moments when it feels like an eternity. Tim was here last week and will be back for the last week in July so in between I need to finish my internship project, my approval essays and my final evaluation - 3 things that are nothing short of epic to complete. All in all it will be a good 5 weeks with a trip to San Antonio with the youth group (who I will probably miss the most!) and Vacation Bible school with the kiddos that make me smile every Sunday morning. So it will be a good 5 weeks.
Well, in all honesty, that is all that is going on right now. Wedding inviations are out and we are now waiting for responses. If you did not get an invite please do not take it personally but blame Powerball and Mega Millions for not matching our tickets all those times that we played for all of those millions. You could also blame my Dad's mother for having 10 children and therefore giving me 25 first cousins who are mostly my age and most of which have spouses that are automatic invites. If I had millions we would all be together for a week having a blast and celebrating like rock stars.
36 days until I move home; 56 days until I start a new life
I had a fitting on Monday for my wedding dress. At this point in the process the dress fittings should be something to look forward to because they put everything into perspective and you realize how great the day is going to be. Well I walked away from that fitting feeling like a cow and had no support from my Maid of Honor that was there with me. I never smiled once the whole time and all she could say was 'smile!', not 'what is the matter' or 'you look great'. It made me miss my Valpo girls a lot because from freshman year on I never felt like I was getting anything less than an honest and supportive opinion from any of my friends. My MOH is a friend from high school and I think that we have grown apart more than either of us expected to which is fine but right now it's frustrating because she is just not catching on.
It was also hard to be at a dress fitting without my Mom. Actually, the whole dress process has been particularly difficult to do without my Mom. From day one of shopping I have been trying to keep my emotions in check and just get through it without too many hiccups and I think it caused me to settle on a dress that fit the criteria that I thought that I wanted when it might not be my 'dream' dress. I never had a 'dream' dress and this dress is going to be just fine but I think that any dress that I would have gotten would still feel like a mistake because Mom was not able to help. I will say that Karrie Tallon is my personal hero right now because she emailed me from Rome, Italy to tell me that everything will be ok and that Mom really is with me in this whole process and would be so happy with the choices I have made - especially Tim :)
I have about 5 weeks left on internship and there are moments when it feels like 5 weeks is not enough time to finish all that I need to and other moments when it feels like an eternity. Tim was here last week and will be back for the last week in July so in between I need to finish my internship project, my approval essays and my final evaluation - 3 things that are nothing short of epic to complete. All in all it will be a good 5 weeks with a trip to San Antonio with the youth group (who I will probably miss the most!) and Vacation Bible school with the kiddos that make me smile every Sunday morning. So it will be a good 5 weeks.
Well, in all honesty, that is all that is going on right now. Wedding inviations are out and we are now waiting for responses. If you did not get an invite please do not take it personally but blame Powerball and Mega Millions for not matching our tickets all those times that we played for all of those millions. You could also blame my Dad's mother for having 10 children and therefore giving me 25 first cousins who are mostly my age and most of which have spouses that are automatic invites. If I had millions we would all be together for a week having a blast and celebrating like rock stars.
36 days until I move home; 56 days until I start a new life
Thursday, May 04, 2006
El Amigo
El Amigo is also known as "The Friend" "El Friend" and "The Amigo" and is one of the best 'restarants' in the Vale of Paradise that is my college town. This is where you will find drunken students/townies at random times of the evening either because they are drunk and need some food or are just plain bored - both of which are common states of being in Valpo. At this fine establishment one can get many varieties of Mexican cuisine such as the burrito and the taco - actually there are a few things on the menu that are better than burritos and tacos but most of my friends dare not experiment.
This evening I was up late, as usual, watching The Daily Show and The Colbert Report and really craving some tacos from El Amigo and wishing that I did not live in a town that shuts down at 10. El Amigo is open until 3am and would never close its doors to a hungry student, or townie. So this evening I devote this blog to El Amigo and those scary guys who work there. I never did find out what that steak really was... Long live "The Amigo"!
This evening I was up late, as usual, watching The Daily Show and The Colbert Report and really craving some tacos from El Amigo and wishing that I did not live in a town that shuts down at 10. El Amigo is open until 3am and would never close its doors to a hungry student, or townie. So this evening I devote this blog to El Amigo and those scary guys who work there. I never did find out what that steak really was... Long live "The Amigo"!
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
3000
Many, if not all, of those who read this blog do not know that I am addicted to Free Cell. I have a game program called Solitaire Till Dawn and it has become a major distraction. Well, today I reached a milestone in my Free Cell career - I have won 3000 games in a row, that's right my winning percentage is 100%! Seems pretty impossible doesn't it? Well, technically it is but with this program I can make reverse moves and figure each game out like a puzzle instead of only being able to play until I am stuck. This may seem like cheating to some but in many ways it adds to the lure of this game for me. Not only am I playing against the clock but I am also keeping my mouse/eye/brain coordination keen for the future. My fastest game is 40 seconds - yeah thats right, I am a free cell master!
In other news... I had previously thought that I had set up my comments page in a way that would prevent random advertisments but apparently I hadn't. I have alerted the local media and they made it the top story and I have since changed the set up so that only those who can see those squiggly letters and type them in the box will be able to bless my blog with their comments. I would like to thank Christine for bringing this to my attention - what would I do without her?
In other news... I had previously thought that I had set up my comments page in a way that would prevent random advertisments but apparently I hadn't. I have alerted the local media and they made it the top story and I have since changed the set up so that only those who can see those squiggly letters and type them in the box will be able to bless my blog with their comments. I would like to thank Christine for bringing this to my attention - what would I do without her?
Monday, May 01, 2006
Checking In
I am so happy that today is May 1. April kicked my butt big time. Between teaching first Holy Communion, Holy Week, and my Internship Project I really wore myself out. Last week I was a little more than tired and really felt like I had 'checked out' for lack of energy to care about anything important. The one thing that kept me on track for the week was a funeral that I had on Saturday. It was the first funeral that I presided over alone - Pastor Nagle was in her 'retirement home' in Vermont (at least she told me she was going up there this time...). You know you have a crappy funeral director when he leaves during the service to wash his car. And believe it or not this was not the first clue that we had that he was an idiot.
So with the start of May I am checking back in for the next 3 months. 90 days until I am out of here! I will be away for 13 days of this month so I am sure it will fly by in a flash. It's hard to believe that I have been here for 8 months already since some days it feels like I have been here for 8 years. Don't get me wrong, I love these people but after the adventure that was Easter I am about ready for a break. I have not been home or away from CT on my own at all since January and right now I am really itching for a change of scenery. I will be home for two weekends in May so that will be great and then all I have left is June and July.
Well, enough about that. I am going to bed. Busy week to come! Goodnight!
So with the start of May I am checking back in for the next 3 months. 90 days until I am out of here! I will be away for 13 days of this month so I am sure it will fly by in a flash. It's hard to believe that I have been here for 8 months already since some days it feels like I have been here for 8 years. Don't get me wrong, I love these people but after the adventure that was Easter I am about ready for a break. I have not been home or away from CT on my own at all since January and right now I am really itching for a change of scenery. I will be home for two weekends in May so that will be great and then all I have left is June and July.
Well, enough about that. I am going to bed. Busy week to come! Goodnight!
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Peace be with you
Here is the sermon that I gave today. Read at your leisure and try to imagine me saying it because I think it sounds better when spoken aloud to try to imagine me standing in front of you inflecting and making wild hand gestures. The wide gaps between paragraphs are long pauses - I wish I had some sort of video recording to post instead...
Sermon for Sunday, April 23, 2006
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition, defines agoraphobia this way “Agoraphobia today describes severe and pervasive anxiety about being in situations from which escape might be difficult or avoidance of situations such as being alone outside of the home, traveling in a car, bus, or airplane, or being in a crowded area.” People who suffer from agoraphobia often become prisoners in their own home. The idea of being in an uncontrollable environment causes them so much anxiety that they would rather stay in their homes for days on end, sometimes years, before they will risk leaving. Their feelings of safety come from the closed, locked door that shields them from the unpredictability of the world outside.
Doors can be precious things. They protect and shield many people from having to face what danger might be lying on the other side. They also open to some wonderful opportunities and friendships with people that we might have never thought possible. Some doors are large, some are small. Some slid open and others revolve. Sometimes crossing the threshold of a door into an unknown situation can make us want to turn around and go back so that we do not have to face whatever is on the other side.
The disciples had locked the door. And for good reason, the people outside of the door were looking for them and probably wanted to kill them for being followers of Jesus. They did not know what to do. The last time they had seen Jesus he was dead – really dead – and the hope for the resurrection that he kept talking about was beginning to dwindle. They did not want to step into the chaos outside their door for fear that they would not be able to escape unharmed and so they stay inside. What were they going to do?
“Peace be with you”. Can you imagine the surprise when Jesus appears in that room? The room with the door that was locked – the door that is STILL locked. Before they can even begin to comprehend anything else he shows them his hands and side so that they can see and touch his wounds. They can feel him and yet he could walk through the locked door. He didn’t need a key or to tear the door down, he just walks in. Then they rejoiced! “Peace be with you,” he says again. Peace indeed! Jesus is alive!
There is nothing more to fear because Jesus has defeated sin and death. And as he gives this peace he reminds them that as the Father has sent him, so he now will send the disciples with God’s peace to share with all people.
What wonderful words those are, “Peace be with you”. The word peace can mean so many things depending on the situation. In Hebrew the word Shalom is known to mean peace but it’s meaning can go further than that and for many it means a sense of completeness, wholeness, and tranquility; relief, comfort and strength. God’s peace is what will make the disciples able to enter new situations without fear of being alone. That peace is also what makes us know that WE are never alone.
When my Mom was in the hospital there were these large 5ft. wide doors that led to the Cardiac Care Unit. You had to push a big button on the wall for the doors to swing open. Once the doors were open there was a distinct odor of what I call, “hospital smell”. Sanitized air that felt heavy and daunting. I walked past the first three rooms and then came to hers and approached another threshold. There were two large sliding glass doors to her room that were usually open but created one more threshold in which I had to cross. The nurses were always really friendly and usually someone like my Dad or Grandmother was already there so it was easy to go in once I saw them. It was as if Jesus had whispered “Peace be with you” in my ear when I saw them because I was no longer afraid and knew that I would not have to go through that experience alone.
September 1 was my first day here at Gloria Dei. I had already moved in with the help of Tim and my Dad and now I was ready to start my work at the church. I put on a nice skirt and top and got the things that I thought I would need for my first day together in a bag. I walked through the trees and across the parking lot, up the stairs and then to those big red doors. I tugged on one and it was locked – so was the other. I saw a sign that said that I needed to ring the bell in order to gain entry. I have to say that I felt rather awkward talking to the voice that came over the intercom. “uh, um… I’m Annemarie… the new vicar?… “ There was a buzzing sound from the door and the voice said “Come on in!” I went in. Down the stairs and into the office where I was immediately met with a key to the entire building, except one closet for which there is a separate key. In a matter of about 3 minutes I went from being a stranger on the doorstep to the keeper of the keys. What a welcome. I heard “Peace be with you” at the sound of Lisa’s voice and as she handed me the keys – all of my anxiety was gone and I knew that everything was going to be ok.
At those words, “Peace be with you”, the fears of what was lying behind those locked doors is beginning to subside. The disciples are beginning to understand what this resurrection really means for them. At first they had begun to think that their job of preaching and teaching with Jesus was over after his death, but now their job is really just beginning. They now have good news to share with those who have been mourning and living in fear after his death. They are at the threshold of a new journey.
But Thomas was not with them when Jesus appeared. He did not hear those wonderful words or see the wounds and face of Jesus. The other disciples tried to tell him what they had seen so that he would know that Jesus was truly alive but he was not convinced. “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.”
So what is the matter with Thomas? Does he think that the other disciples are lying about this? How could they lie about something so wonderful and uplifting? Thomas wants things to be done on his own terms. He likes to be in control of his life and how he experiences it. If he is going to believe that Jesus is alive he is going to need some proof… well more proof than what he has already heard from his friends.
We want to control things and do them on our own terms more often than we want to trust God to be there with us to help. We become trapped in our own version of agoraphobic behavior, we become fearful of that moment of letting go and trusting that we are not going to be left alone. The more we try to stay in that locked room under our own terms the more we become like Thomas who would not believe until Jesus held out his hands to touch him.
We want proof that that everything will be ok and that we will never be alone in that hospital room… on that job interview… at the moment of death. And just when we think that we are going to encounter inescapable chaos – Jesus whispers in our ear, “Peace be with you” and appears as our family and friends, appears as our supportive church community, and promises that we will never be alone.
The fact that we share the peace with one another every Sunday is not because Pastor Nagle or the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America decided that it might be nice and neighborly to do. We exchange the peace with one another in order to build our community and to remind each other that in this body of Christ we are representatives of that peace for each other.
In this community our exchange comes at one of the most appropriate places that I have encountered. Some communities exchange the peace just before the offering is taken but here we exchange it right after the confession and absolution. We have just confessed to God that we are not even close to being worthy of the love and mercy that we are shown on a daily basis and have heard those words of forgiveness. What better time is there to hear “Peace be with you” than right then? It’s the hug of love and compassion that we need to feel in order to know that the mercy God has for us is real.
How many people do you know who do not have an opportunity to hear these words spoken to them and for them? How many people do you know who think that God has locked them out and could not possibly love them enough to actually bring them the kind of peace, love, and wholeness that we experience here? Maybe they are people that you used to see just a few pews ahead of you. For whatever the reasons there are people everywhere who feel as though God has abandoned them and are really waiting for someone to show them that the wounds in Jesus’ hands and side are actually for them and that they are worthy of that much love.
We are standing on the threshold of the door to finding the mission for the congregation. We will gather today to study the bible, discuss our faith, and make plans for how we will reach out into the world in the name of Christ. The world is full of chaos; in this week alone we remembered the Oklahoma City bombing and the Columbine Massacre and we are constantly aware of the wars that are going on overseas and next door and there is no way to know what we will have to face in the future. We do have a promise from God and Jesus through our baptism and this meal that we are about to share together that whatever we do, we do it as the collective body of Christ. We must always remember that no matter how thick the door or chaotic the situation Jesus is going to be there, whispering “Peace be with you”. Amen.
Sermon for Sunday, April 23, 2006
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition, defines agoraphobia this way “Agoraphobia today describes severe and pervasive anxiety about being in situations from which escape might be difficult or avoidance of situations such as being alone outside of the home, traveling in a car, bus, or airplane, or being in a crowded area.” People who suffer from agoraphobia often become prisoners in their own home. The idea of being in an uncontrollable environment causes them so much anxiety that they would rather stay in their homes for days on end, sometimes years, before they will risk leaving. Their feelings of safety come from the closed, locked door that shields them from the unpredictability of the world outside.
Doors can be precious things. They protect and shield many people from having to face what danger might be lying on the other side. They also open to some wonderful opportunities and friendships with people that we might have never thought possible. Some doors are large, some are small. Some slid open and others revolve. Sometimes crossing the threshold of a door into an unknown situation can make us want to turn around and go back so that we do not have to face whatever is on the other side.
The disciples had locked the door. And for good reason, the people outside of the door were looking for them and probably wanted to kill them for being followers of Jesus. They did not know what to do. The last time they had seen Jesus he was dead – really dead – and the hope for the resurrection that he kept talking about was beginning to dwindle. They did not want to step into the chaos outside their door for fear that they would not be able to escape unharmed and so they stay inside. What were they going to do?
“Peace be with you”. Can you imagine the surprise when Jesus appears in that room? The room with the door that was locked – the door that is STILL locked. Before they can even begin to comprehend anything else he shows them his hands and side so that they can see and touch his wounds. They can feel him and yet he could walk through the locked door. He didn’t need a key or to tear the door down, he just walks in. Then they rejoiced! “Peace be with you,” he says again. Peace indeed! Jesus is alive!
There is nothing more to fear because Jesus has defeated sin and death. And as he gives this peace he reminds them that as the Father has sent him, so he now will send the disciples with God’s peace to share with all people.
What wonderful words those are, “Peace be with you”. The word peace can mean so many things depending on the situation. In Hebrew the word Shalom is known to mean peace but it’s meaning can go further than that and for many it means a sense of completeness, wholeness, and tranquility; relief, comfort and strength. God’s peace is what will make the disciples able to enter new situations without fear of being alone. That peace is also what makes us know that WE are never alone.
When my Mom was in the hospital there were these large 5ft. wide doors that led to the Cardiac Care Unit. You had to push a big button on the wall for the doors to swing open. Once the doors were open there was a distinct odor of what I call, “hospital smell”. Sanitized air that felt heavy and daunting. I walked past the first three rooms and then came to hers and approached another threshold. There were two large sliding glass doors to her room that were usually open but created one more threshold in which I had to cross. The nurses were always really friendly and usually someone like my Dad or Grandmother was already there so it was easy to go in once I saw them. It was as if Jesus had whispered “Peace be with you” in my ear when I saw them because I was no longer afraid and knew that I would not have to go through that experience alone.
September 1 was my first day here at Gloria Dei. I had already moved in with the help of Tim and my Dad and now I was ready to start my work at the church. I put on a nice skirt and top and got the things that I thought I would need for my first day together in a bag. I walked through the trees and across the parking lot, up the stairs and then to those big red doors. I tugged on one and it was locked – so was the other. I saw a sign that said that I needed to ring the bell in order to gain entry. I have to say that I felt rather awkward talking to the voice that came over the intercom. “uh, um… I’m Annemarie… the new vicar?… “ There was a buzzing sound from the door and the voice said “Come on in!” I went in. Down the stairs and into the office where I was immediately met with a key to the entire building, except one closet for which there is a separate key. In a matter of about 3 minutes I went from being a stranger on the doorstep to the keeper of the keys. What a welcome. I heard “Peace be with you” at the sound of Lisa’s voice and as she handed me the keys – all of my anxiety was gone and I knew that everything was going to be ok.
At those words, “Peace be with you”, the fears of what was lying behind those locked doors is beginning to subside. The disciples are beginning to understand what this resurrection really means for them. At first they had begun to think that their job of preaching and teaching with Jesus was over after his death, but now their job is really just beginning. They now have good news to share with those who have been mourning and living in fear after his death. They are at the threshold of a new journey.
But Thomas was not with them when Jesus appeared. He did not hear those wonderful words or see the wounds and face of Jesus. The other disciples tried to tell him what they had seen so that he would know that Jesus was truly alive but he was not convinced. “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.”
So what is the matter with Thomas? Does he think that the other disciples are lying about this? How could they lie about something so wonderful and uplifting? Thomas wants things to be done on his own terms. He likes to be in control of his life and how he experiences it. If he is going to believe that Jesus is alive he is going to need some proof… well more proof than what he has already heard from his friends.
We want to control things and do them on our own terms more often than we want to trust God to be there with us to help. We become trapped in our own version of agoraphobic behavior, we become fearful of that moment of letting go and trusting that we are not going to be left alone. The more we try to stay in that locked room under our own terms the more we become like Thomas who would not believe until Jesus held out his hands to touch him.
We want proof that that everything will be ok and that we will never be alone in that hospital room… on that job interview… at the moment of death. And just when we think that we are going to encounter inescapable chaos – Jesus whispers in our ear, “Peace be with you” and appears as our family and friends, appears as our supportive church community, and promises that we will never be alone.
The fact that we share the peace with one another every Sunday is not because Pastor Nagle or the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America decided that it might be nice and neighborly to do. We exchange the peace with one another in order to build our community and to remind each other that in this body of Christ we are representatives of that peace for each other.
In this community our exchange comes at one of the most appropriate places that I have encountered. Some communities exchange the peace just before the offering is taken but here we exchange it right after the confession and absolution. We have just confessed to God that we are not even close to being worthy of the love and mercy that we are shown on a daily basis and have heard those words of forgiveness. What better time is there to hear “Peace be with you” than right then? It’s the hug of love and compassion that we need to feel in order to know that the mercy God has for us is real.
How many people do you know who do not have an opportunity to hear these words spoken to them and for them? How many people do you know who think that God has locked them out and could not possibly love them enough to actually bring them the kind of peace, love, and wholeness that we experience here? Maybe they are people that you used to see just a few pews ahead of you. For whatever the reasons there are people everywhere who feel as though God has abandoned them and are really waiting for someone to show them that the wounds in Jesus’ hands and side are actually for them and that they are worthy of that much love.
We are standing on the threshold of the door to finding the mission for the congregation. We will gather today to study the bible, discuss our faith, and make plans for how we will reach out into the world in the name of Christ. The world is full of chaos; in this week alone we remembered the Oklahoma City bombing and the Columbine Massacre and we are constantly aware of the wars that are going on overseas and next door and there is no way to know what we will have to face in the future. We do have a promise from God and Jesus through our baptism and this meal that we are about to share together that whatever we do, we do it as the collective body of Christ. We must always remember that no matter how thick the door or chaotic the situation Jesus is going to be there, whispering “Peace be with you”. Amen.
Friday, April 21, 2006
35 Kegs of beer on the lawn...
35 kegs of beer!! Take one down, pass it around - oh no the cops are here to take away our beer on the lawn!
It's Spring Weekend at UConn and the news has been covering it since Tuesday (it only goes the length of the normal college weekend - Thursday through Sunday). Interviews with police, students, police, and police were necessary to see how the police would handle those crazy college kids. Last night there were a few arrests for disorderly conduct and minor crimes. Tonight there was a big party crashed - there were 35 kegs of beer at the house. Now, most of the houses in Connecticut are HUGE because there are a lot of rich people here (there are also a LOT of poor people) so I can see how you can hide a lot of people in them without too much trouble. But how do you expect to hide 35 kegs? AND, how do you suppose you are going to CONSUME all of those kegs. As someone with some experience with kegs I know that it takes a lot of people to empty 1 and I think at one party we could have handled 2 no problem, but 35? Thats a little optimistic, I don't think anyone is that popular I don't care how many frats you might have pledged or nerds you promised hot girls to. If 1 keg produces about 165 12 oz cups of beer. That means that 35 kegs produces 5,775 12oz. cups of beer!! Seriously, I know that the US is all about 'thinking big' and indulging in things but that is just ridiculous.
Here is a link for your reading pleasure http://www.queensjournal.ca/articlephp/point-vol132/issue16/news/lead1
Sorry, I don't know how to make pretty links without all of the schmutz.
The most sad part of this whole situation is the fact that this story was reported within the first 5 minutes of the news cast and actually beat out the Chinese President's visit to Yale University. I won't even go into the report titled "Oil Changes Undercover" with the boob at the Jiffy Lube who basically said that any and all kinds of driving are considered "severe conditions" and that everyone should get their oil changed every 5 minutes, I mean every 3000 miles - no matter what your owner's manual might say (those people that made the car have no idea what they are talking about apparently).
Welcome to Connecticut! Only 101 days left!!!
It's Spring Weekend at UConn and the news has been covering it since Tuesday (it only goes the length of the normal college weekend - Thursday through Sunday). Interviews with police, students, police, and police were necessary to see how the police would handle those crazy college kids. Last night there were a few arrests for disorderly conduct and minor crimes. Tonight there was a big party crashed - there were 35 kegs of beer at the house. Now, most of the houses in Connecticut are HUGE because there are a lot of rich people here (there are also a LOT of poor people) so I can see how you can hide a lot of people in them without too much trouble. But how do you expect to hide 35 kegs? AND, how do you suppose you are going to CONSUME all of those kegs. As someone with some experience with kegs I know that it takes a lot of people to empty 1 and I think at one party we could have handled 2 no problem, but 35? Thats a little optimistic, I don't think anyone is that popular I don't care how many frats you might have pledged or nerds you promised hot girls to. If 1 keg produces about 165 12 oz cups of beer. That means that 35 kegs produces 5,775 12oz. cups of beer!! Seriously, I know that the US is all about 'thinking big' and indulging in things but that is just ridiculous.
Here is a link for your reading pleasure http://www.queensjournal.ca/articlephp/point-vol132/issue16/news/lead1
Sorry, I don't know how to make pretty links without all of the schmutz.
The most sad part of this whole situation is the fact that this story was reported within the first 5 minutes of the news cast and actually beat out the Chinese President's visit to Yale University. I won't even go into the report titled "Oil Changes Undercover" with the boob at the Jiffy Lube who basically said that any and all kinds of driving are considered "severe conditions" and that everyone should get their oil changed every 5 minutes, I mean every 3000 miles - no matter what your owner's manual might say (those people that made the car have no idea what they are talking about apparently).
Welcome to Connecticut! Only 101 days left!!!
Thursday, April 20, 2006
I was on a roll...
And then suddenly I am gone for 10 days. Holy week was really great but SO busy. I learned a lot about planning services and how (not) to instruct congregations when they are beginning an Easter Vigil tradition and have NO IDEA what is going on. Easter morning was glorious and I belted out those "Alleluias" because I had been waiting for Easter since the beginning of Lent. I cannot remember a time thta I wanted to see Easter more than this year, except when I was younger and Easter meant candy more than it meant celebrating the resurrection of our Lord.
Contrary to what it may seem, I actually have a lot to say about the world and what is happening in it. I come up with blog ideas all day long, unfortunatley they always come to me while I am in the car, in my office, or in church (when you have to go 3 times a Sunday you have some day dreaming room during the sermon). Things like the way people drive, the way this church operates in its daily life, life in Connecticut, and weddings in general. But then I come home and it becomes the end of the day I am not longer wanting to rant about the way people follow you on the highway or how much I love The Daily Show.
Right now I am knee deep in my Internship Project. The main event is this Sunday and as it approaches I am realizing how much I have to get done. I am leading a workshop called, "Exploring Our Mission" in which we will talk about Biblical and Lutheran models of mission and then discuss what the needs are for this community and how our mission statement reflects all of these things. It's gonna be a good time but I am going to be wicked happy when it's Monday and I am done with one more milestone on the way to the end of internship.
So I apologize to those you who read this - there are more than I had first thought. I appreciate your interest because it makes me feel worthwhile as a person, that and when I go to Panera and they no longer ask for my name when I order. Speaking of Panera... on Easter I was greeting some college kids and one of them said "Aren't you in Panera a lot?" I had to admit my patheticness and then told his mother that the next time he sees me he should say hi so that the people who work there think that I have friends.
Contrary to what it may seem, I actually have a lot to say about the world and what is happening in it. I come up with blog ideas all day long, unfortunatley they always come to me while I am in the car, in my office, or in church (when you have to go 3 times a Sunday you have some day dreaming room during the sermon). Things like the way people drive, the way this church operates in its daily life, life in Connecticut, and weddings in general. But then I come home and it becomes the end of the day I am not longer wanting to rant about the way people follow you on the highway or how much I love The Daily Show.
Right now I am knee deep in my Internship Project. The main event is this Sunday and as it approaches I am realizing how much I have to get done. I am leading a workshop called, "Exploring Our Mission" in which we will talk about Biblical and Lutheran models of mission and then discuss what the needs are for this community and how our mission statement reflects all of these things. It's gonna be a good time but I am going to be wicked happy when it's Monday and I am done with one more milestone on the way to the end of internship.
So I apologize to those you who read this - there are more than I had first thought. I appreciate your interest because it makes me feel worthwhile as a person, that and when I go to Panera and they no longer ask for my name when I order. Speaking of Panera... on Easter I was greeting some college kids and one of them said "Aren't you in Panera a lot?" I had to admit my patheticness and then told his mother that the next time he sees me he should say hi so that the people who work there think that I have friends.
Monday, April 10, 2006
Welcome to Holy Week
Welcome to Holy Week.
It started with my day off which is probably an appropriate way to begin this week. The sad thing is that my supervisor's day off is Friday and so she will not have a day off until next week - and I am sure that I will hear about it at sometime this week. Tomorrow and Wednesday we will be preparing for the marathon that will be Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday with at least 2 services on most of those days along with various other activities. I am preaching for the Bristol community Good Friday service so that should be cool, I am looking forward to it since I have not preached on Good Friday before let alone for a multi-denominational service.
This past weekend was an adventure but one that we came through pretty well. There were a few surprises along the way such as the fact that apparently I have been volunteered to sing the psalm on Maundy Thursday which no one told me until it was time to rehearse - since I HATE when people volunteer me for things without asking me I did not attend the rehearsal, I also had something much more important to do anyway. During the Sunday School hour (also during rehearsal time) we did a kind of 'Stations of the Cross' activity with the kids to show them some of the things that we celebrate this week. It was really cool and I was really glad to have a chance to help with it.
One of the more interesting parts of being the Vicar is realizing that your schedule is not something that anyone check's with before they schedule meetings/activities that they expect you to attend. One of the classes I missed in seminary was "How to Divide your Body in Two" so that I could successfully attend two things at a time. So Sunday night when both confirmation and Cruzando preparation needed my attention I had to split it up between them. Maybe when I am ordained I will get to learn it, along with that secret handshake that I see everyone doing...
Tim is coming on Wednesday so this week is going to get really good on that day. The weather this week is gorgeous so in general I am a happier person since sunshine is like a drug to me - can't get enough! Well, until I am sunburnt and cursing it's existence...
Welcome to Holy Week...
It started with my day off which is probably an appropriate way to begin this week. The sad thing is that my supervisor's day off is Friday and so she will not have a day off until next week - and I am sure that I will hear about it at sometime this week. Tomorrow and Wednesday we will be preparing for the marathon that will be Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday with at least 2 services on most of those days along with various other activities. I am preaching for the Bristol community Good Friday service so that should be cool, I am looking forward to it since I have not preached on Good Friday before let alone for a multi-denominational service.
This past weekend was an adventure but one that we came through pretty well. There were a few surprises along the way such as the fact that apparently I have been volunteered to sing the psalm on Maundy Thursday which no one told me until it was time to rehearse - since I HATE when people volunteer me for things without asking me I did not attend the rehearsal, I also had something much more important to do anyway. During the Sunday School hour (also during rehearsal time) we did a kind of 'Stations of the Cross' activity with the kids to show them some of the things that we celebrate this week. It was really cool and I was really glad to have a chance to help with it.
One of the more interesting parts of being the Vicar is realizing that your schedule is not something that anyone check's with before they schedule meetings/activities that they expect you to attend. One of the classes I missed in seminary was "How to Divide your Body in Two" so that I could successfully attend two things at a time. So Sunday night when both confirmation and Cruzando preparation needed my attention I had to split it up between them. Maybe when I am ordained I will get to learn it, along with that secret handshake that I see everyone doing...
Tim is coming on Wednesday so this week is going to get really good on that day. The weather this week is gorgeous so in general I am a happier person since sunshine is like a drug to me - can't get enough! Well, until I am sunburnt and cursing it's existence...
Welcome to Holy Week...
Friday, April 07, 2006
Time
Time is not behaving the way I would like it to. Doesn't it seem that whenever we are looking forward to something, maybe a wedding, time seems to move like molasses in January. But when we need to get something done, maybe an internship project, time seems to fly by faster than a leer jet. The fact remains that in reality time moves at the same pace all of the time, no matter how fast or slow we want it to move. The seconds tick away without any consideration for it we are ready for them or not and all we can do is deal with it the best we can.
Today I was looking over my calendar for the next 4 months and there is more ink on those pages than I have seen in a long time. Most of my time is accounted for with either church stuff or wedding stuff leaving little time for anything else. Part of me is glad for the plethora of distractions from the fact that I am truly miserable without Tim. I know exactly how many days are left until our wedding everyday (133 today) and I dread the end of the day when I realize that I have spent another day without him. When I was in college you could not have convinced me, even when I was drunk, that I would feel this way about anyone at this point in my life and now that it's actually happening I have to suffer with living 200 miles away from him for the year before we are married.
The good thing about time going by at a rate that we can never control is that it will always keep going. Life will always move on and force us to face our fears, desires, and trials and then they are over and we go on to something else. Memories of those times remind us of our lives and how unpredictable they can be. As I look towards this coming Holy Week I am reminded of all of those great times at Valpo in the Chapel and the seminary and I wonder how this year will look and feel. Right now I am longing to see Easter Sunday and finally be able to shout Alleluia and thank God for the miracle of the resurrection. Until then I will continue to prepare and pray for time to do what it does and get me through this as best I can.
Today I was looking over my calendar for the next 4 months and there is more ink on those pages than I have seen in a long time. Most of my time is accounted for with either church stuff or wedding stuff leaving little time for anything else. Part of me is glad for the plethora of distractions from the fact that I am truly miserable without Tim. I know exactly how many days are left until our wedding everyday (133 today) and I dread the end of the day when I realize that I have spent another day without him. When I was in college you could not have convinced me, even when I was drunk, that I would feel this way about anyone at this point in my life and now that it's actually happening I have to suffer with living 200 miles away from him for the year before we are married.
The good thing about time going by at a rate that we can never control is that it will always keep going. Life will always move on and force us to face our fears, desires, and trials and then they are over and we go on to something else. Memories of those times remind us of our lives and how unpredictable they can be. As I look towards this coming Holy Week I am reminded of all of those great times at Valpo in the Chapel and the seminary and I wonder how this year will look and feel. Right now I am longing to see Easter Sunday and finally be able to shout Alleluia and thank God for the miracle of the resurrection. Until then I will continue to prepare and pray for time to do what it does and get me through this as best I can.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
3 Days to Palm Sunday
Life is getting crazier by the day. The closer we get to Holy Week and Easter the crazier my life becomes. There is so much to do before Sunday and then so much to do next week.
Just when I thought that I knew what next week would look like (crazy) my supervisor mentions that we need to do Holy Week visits to the homebound of the congregation - when in the hell am I supposed to visit the homebound?! I am happy to visit them at any time, I just wish that I had a bit more warning about it than the week before. Then I ask why we didn't sit down and go over the list together (like we have 3 times before) and she says that we already did... hmmm... I don't think I was at that meeting. So I tell her that I don't remember and she insists that because there are notes on the side of her list that we met in the recent past - OK, I forget stuff so it's quite possible that we did. So I get back to the church and go into my office to find my sheet and notice that there are no new notes on my sheet referring to new visit assignments. Hmm... When I get home I have an email from her listing the people that I am supposed to visit - THEY ARE THE SAME ONES AS LAST MONTH!!! We have not talked about this in a meeting since February!!! I know this because I actually put the date next to my information when we met the last time. Such is the life of an intern...
Tomorrow is going to be a long, hard day and I am looking forward to the end of it.
Until then...
Just when I thought that I knew what next week would look like (crazy) my supervisor mentions that we need to do Holy Week visits to the homebound of the congregation - when in the hell am I supposed to visit the homebound?! I am happy to visit them at any time, I just wish that I had a bit more warning about it than the week before. Then I ask why we didn't sit down and go over the list together (like we have 3 times before) and she says that we already did... hmmm... I don't think I was at that meeting. So I tell her that I don't remember and she insists that because there are notes on the side of her list that we met in the recent past - OK, I forget stuff so it's quite possible that we did. So I get back to the church and go into my office to find my sheet and notice that there are no new notes on my sheet referring to new visit assignments. Hmm... When I get home I have an email from her listing the people that I am supposed to visit - THEY ARE THE SAME ONES AS LAST MONTH!!! We have not talked about this in a meeting since February!!! I know this because I actually put the date next to my information when we met the last time.
Tomorrow is going to be a long, hard day and I am looking forward to the end of it.
Until then...
What a day...
It wasn't a bad day but man was it long! I got up and went to the gym in the morning and then got myself into my office only to realize how much work I have to get done before Sunday. My internship project is coming up and I am beginning to realize how stressful this is going to be. April is going to fly by and I hope that I am able to keep up! I only have 4 months left here to get my stuff done and still manage to get stuff done for the wedding. I will be ordering invitations this week and someone from the congregation has offered their services as a calligrapher to help me address them - a total God-send! I know that in the end things will work out just fine but right now I am beginning to freak out a little. I cant't wait until we are finally married and I can begin my life with Tim. Tim is coming a week from today so I am really looking forward to seeing him - 39 days apart is too long!
Tomorrow I am looking forward to SUPERvision and a day of preparations for Palm Sunday and Holy Week. I cannot believe that Palm Sunday is this week! Where did the time go? I am not ready yet!
Tonight I spent some time updating my MySpace site and now my little brother has a site too so you should go and harass him.
Tomorrow I am looking forward to SUPERvision and a day of preparations for Palm Sunday and Holy Week. I cannot believe that Palm Sunday is this week! Where did the time go? I am not ready yet!
Tonight I spent some time updating my MySpace site and now my little brother has a site too so you should go and harass him.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
GG
There have been more than a few shows that have captured my attention over the years. Mr. Rogers, Pinwheel, You Can't Do That On Television (thank you Nickelodeon before you got all crazy), The Cosby Show, Fraggle Rock, Scrubs, Grey's Anatomy, The Sopranos, Big Love... and many more - but there is only one show that I own actual seasons of on DVD and is Gilmore Girls. Maybe it's because the girls talk about as fast as I do and I feel a kind of kinship in our speedy speech. Maybe I wish that I lived in a town like Stars Hollow with characters like Kirk, Taylor, Miss Patty, Babette, and of course, Luke. Maybe I wish I had rich grandparents like Richard and Emily to fight over who will pay for my Yale education and to buy me a Prius. Since I currently live in Connecticut (where the show takes place) I have been able to really catch on to some of the Connecticut-isms that they use such as the Courant, dirty New Haven, rich people from West Hartford, the Gold Coast, and the random po-dunkness of the small towns.
Here is my commentary on the show this season for all of you who watch too:
Right now I would like to wring Rory's neck for meddling wth her mother's relationship with Luke because she is really making it worse than it has to be. Even if Lorelai is being a little wimpy about pushing Luke to introduce her to his newly found 12 year old daughter, April, she is just trying to be supportive of Luke. And if anyone should be talking about relationships it is not Rory! She has taken Logan back twice now after he behaved badly and most girls would forgive her for taking him back after he was a jerk the first time but then after he sleeps with 4 girls because of a misunderstanding that reminds of me the show Friends when Ross and Rachel were "on a break" and most girls would say take a hike - but not Rory! All he needs to do is bat those pretty eyes and she is back in his luxe apartment in New Haven (the good block in New Haven). I want to email the writer and see if she could please give Rory her spine back sometime soon becuase I don't think I can take it anymore.
So thats what I have to say about that. Life has been hectic and this past weekend really kicked my ass with all of the stuff that I had to do. I hope to keep up with the blogging for the rest of Lent becuase I know how you are just waiting to see what is going to come out of my brain next.
Here is my commentary on the show this season for all of you who watch too:
Right now I would like to wring Rory's neck for meddling wth her mother's relationship with Luke because she is really making it worse than it has to be. Even if Lorelai is being a little wimpy about pushing Luke to introduce her to his newly found 12 year old daughter, April, she is just trying to be supportive of Luke. And if anyone should be talking about relationships it is not Rory! She has taken Logan back twice now after he behaved badly and most girls would forgive her for taking him back after he was a jerk the first time but then after he sleeps with 4 girls because of a misunderstanding that reminds of me the show Friends when Ross and Rachel were "on a break" and most girls would say take a hike - but not Rory! All he needs to do is bat those pretty eyes and she is back in his luxe apartment in New Haven (the good block in New Haven). I want to email the writer and see if she could please give Rory her spine back sometime soon becuase I don't think I can take it anymore.
So thats what I have to say about that. Life has been hectic and this past weekend really kicked my ass with all of the stuff that I had to do. I hope to keep up with the blogging for the rest of Lent becuase I know how you are just waiting to see what is going to come out of my brain next.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Beautiful India
I thought that I would post some more pictures tonight. For this post I will post some of the more beautiful pictures from India.
The flower was taken in a natural medicinal garden and while I have no idea what the plant itself is called, the flower is gorgeous.
This picture is of the beach along the Arabian sea in Mangalore. I got to swim in the 70-80 degree water, it was amazing to be there. For the most part people do not take vacations like we do and so it was a little odd to the locals that we were swimming in the sea.
These are some women that were part of a vocational college that was run out of a seminary in Mangalore. They were amazing people and were happy to show us what they were working on both in their typing and seamstress classes.
Here is a photo that I took through the window at a Buddhist Temple in Bangalore. The monks are teaching smaller boys the ways of Buddhism so that they too will become monks one day. There were beautiful gardens surrounding the temple too.
The flower was taken in a natural medicinal garden and while I have no idea what the plant itself is called, the flower is gorgeous.
This picture is of the beach along the Arabian sea in Mangalore. I got to swim in the 70-80 degree water, it was amazing to be there. For the most part people do not take vacations like we do and so it was a little odd to the locals that we were swimming in the sea.
These are some women that were part of a vocational college that was run out of a seminary in Mangalore. They were amazing people and were happy to show us what they were working on both in their typing and seamstress classes.
Here is a photo that I took through the window at a Buddhist Temple in Bangalore. The monks are teaching smaller boys the ways of Buddhism so that they too will become monks one day. There were beautiful gardens surrounding the temple too.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
I have a confession to make...
I dread going to sleep at the end of the day. In my short experience in living alone I have been reminded of my neurotic tendency to freak myself out when I am in a dark place. After get into bed and turn off the light I begin to hear the house settle and try to convince myself that all of those sounds have nothing to do with what I would hear if someone were in my house and trying to get me. Eventually I wear myself out worrying and fall asleep. When I awake in the morning I kick myself for wasting my energy worrying about nothing at all. After 6 months of this nonsense I am beginning to get a little upset with myself. What 25 year old is still afraid to go to sleep because, essentially, they are afraid of the darkness? Well, at least one. I have done everything from Tylenol PM to listening to music to help me sleep better and through the whole night. I keep one of my old field hockey sticks next to the bed in case I need to fend off some burglar. I also keep two phones (cell and land line) handy in case I need to dial 911 quickly. I am a nut, I know, but I cannot help it.
In all honesty I think that a lot of this has to do with the death of my mother. This is not a cop-out explanation so stay with me on this. Over the past year and a half I have developed an extreme fear of my own death - so much that I have become a much safer driver and am more aware of the people around me. It sounds a little neurotic and it probably is but it seems that the only thing that helps me calm down is being with Tim. I am not trying to be cute and lovey dovey, but honestly being with him makes me feel like life is going to go on for a very long time. So when I am not with him I also worry about him having a car accident and all kinds of other things because losing him would probably be more than I could handle.
So I guess I am just in fear of death and all that goes with it because it sucks and there is nothing that can bring that person back. The good thing is that I am a Lutheran and understand that I have already died to sin and am alive in the resurrection of Christ. Tim is a great example for me in this because he is always confident and not afraid of death at all he is able to live in hope and faith. Good thing I am marrying him - he just makes life better, and I tend to get more sleep when someone else is in the house with me.
In all honesty I think that a lot of this has to do with the death of my mother. This is not a cop-out explanation so stay with me on this. Over the past year and a half I have developed an extreme fear of my own death - so much that I have become a much safer driver and am more aware of the people around me. It sounds a little neurotic and it probably is but it seems that the only thing that helps me calm down is being with Tim. I am not trying to be cute and lovey dovey, but honestly being with him makes me feel like life is going to go on for a very long time. So when I am not with him I also worry about him having a car accident and all kinds of other things because losing him would probably be more than I could handle.
So I guess I am just in fear of death and all that goes with it because it sucks and there is nothing that can bring that person back. The good thing is that I am a Lutheran and understand that I have already died to sin and am alive in the resurrection of Christ. Tim is a great example for me in this because he is always confident and not afraid of death at all he is able to live in hope and faith. Good thing I am marrying him - he just makes life better, and I tend to get more sleep when someone else is in the house with me.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Brownie to the rescue!
Well this day went from kind of boring to so stressful that I just want to elope! Pericope became a vehicle for my supervisor to build up and let our her frustrations on me on the drive home. Then, I brought her some cookies and the day seemed to perk up from there. I made a timeline for my Internship Project and began to see a clearer vision of what it will eventually look like and that was more than comforting since I am approaching this project with no prior 'Mission Statement' building experience.
As I left the church I decided that it might be a good day to go shopping for new work clothes - that was a mistake. I went to Old Navy and Kohl's and realized that right now my body is either too big or too small and not once did anything actually fit me the way that I think it was supposed to. So I am going back to the Lean Cuisine hardcore for the next few weeks so that I actually become a size that exists and not one that is in an alternative universe. Ugh.
Then I come home and realized that I need to get our invitations figured out soon so we can order them and have the calligrapher write all of the addresses on them before June. That meant that I had to figure out the wording, color, font, and style of the invitation, response cards, reception cards, and the envelopes. That took 4 hours and I still have to wait for some more information. If I knew getting married the formal way was this stressful I would have booked a flight to Vegas a long time ago. Sheesh!
The good part of the day was watching former FEMA director "Brownie" make a fool of himself on the Colbert Report. If you have a chance to catch it tomorrow it's worth a half hour of your time. He actually thinks that he is smart, its hilarious.
As I left the church I decided that it might be a good day to go shopping for new work clothes - that was a mistake. I went to Old Navy and Kohl's and realized that right now my body is either too big or too small and not once did anything actually fit me the way that I think it was supposed to. So I am going back to the Lean Cuisine hardcore for the next few weeks so that I actually become a size that exists and not one that is in an alternative universe. Ugh.
Then I come home and realized that I need to get our invitations figured out soon so we can order them and have the calligrapher write all of the addresses on them before June. That meant that I had to figure out the wording, color, font, and style of the invitation, response cards, reception cards, and the envelopes. That took 4 hours and I still have to wait for some more information. If I knew getting married the formal way was this stressful I would have booked a flight to Vegas a long time ago. Sheesh!
The good part of the day was watching former FEMA director "Brownie" make a fool of himself on the Colbert Report. If you have a chance to catch it tomorrow it's worth a half hour of your time. He actually thinks that he is smart, its hilarious.
Monday, March 27, 2006
The Panera Experience
Since I live alone I find myself having trouble preparing food for just me most of the time. I usually end up at Panera bread for meals since the food is a little healthier than most fast food places and the atmosphere makes me feel like eating there might make me smarter - maybe thats because I am usually reading there but whatever.
Well, since I am at Panera 3-4 times a week I have come to recognize the people, mostly teenagers, that work there and they have begun to recognize me - when they ask for your name for every order and your name is Annemarie they begin to catch on. It's a great feeling when Tyler gives me my food without having to look at the screen to see what I am getting because he knows what my usual is (You Pick Two with Broccoli Chedder soup and Smokehouse Turkey panini). Most of the time I am not too embarassed to be there because the food is so good and I am usually getting it to go. There are some days when I am able to sit down and enjoy my food with a book and those are the days when sitting alone really begins to take it's toll. In the end its all good since in a little more than 4 months time I will be back in NJ and getting ready to get married and I will never be alone again... hmmm
For those of you who are Office Space fans I should let you know that there is one employee at Panera that reminds me of Brian at Chatchkies (I have no idea how to spell that) - the kid who is annoyingly energetic and tells the guys that they must have "A case of the Mondays". He is usually standing by the door welcoming people and helping them out. He even has blonde hair and is a similar height and build to the guy in the movie. I was glad to see that his name was David and not Brian becuase that might have been too much to handle so I have been able to keep my composure around him most of the time. They ran out of Dr. Pepper today and he was standing next to the machine when I realized that only seltzer was coming out of the fountain and came to my rescue. He then let me know as he was letting the air bubbles out of the tank that Dr. Pepper was his favorite drink as well and if I had needed Pepsi he would not have helped me as fast. So hard to not laugh at him. You have to wonder if he has seen that movie and tries to be Brian because that would be both sad and admirable.
Tomorrow is pericope and that means 2 hours of my supervisor giving her opinion no matter who wants to hear it. woohoo.
Well, since I am at Panera 3-4 times a week I have come to recognize the people, mostly teenagers, that work there and they have begun to recognize me - when they ask for your name for every order and your name is Annemarie they begin to catch on. It's a great feeling when Tyler gives me my food without having to look at the screen to see what I am getting because he knows what my usual is (You Pick Two with Broccoli Chedder soup and Smokehouse Turkey panini). Most of the time I am not too embarassed to be there because the food is so good and I am usually getting it to go. There are some days when I am able to sit down and enjoy my food with a book and those are the days when sitting alone really begins to take it's toll. In the end its all good since in a little more than 4 months time I will be back in NJ and getting ready to get married and I will never be alone again... hmmm
For those of you who are Office Space fans I should let you know that there is one employee at Panera that reminds me of Brian at Chatchkies (I have no idea how to spell that) - the kid who is annoyingly energetic and tells the guys that they must have "A case of the Mondays". He is usually standing by the door welcoming people and helping them out. He even has blonde hair and is a similar height and build to the guy in the movie. I was glad to see that his name was David and not Brian becuase that might have been too much to handle so I have been able to keep my composure around him most of the time. They ran out of Dr. Pepper today and he was standing next to the machine when I realized that only seltzer was coming out of the fountain and came to my rescue. He then let me know as he was letting the air bubbles out of the tank that Dr. Pepper was his favorite drink as well and if I had needed Pepsi he would not have helped me as fast. So hard to not laugh at him. You have to wonder if he has seen that movie and tries to be Brian because that would be both sad and admirable.
Tomorrow is pericope and that means 2 hours of my supervisor giving her opinion no matter who wants to hear it. woohoo.
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Stuck in the Middle...
Since I have been losing some weight lately I have been looking to get some new spring clothes that will compliment my shrinking figure. I have run into a weird problem in my shopping outings and its something that I did not anticipate. I go into stores like Old Navy and the Gap, places that I LOVE, and find that most of the stuff that they have are not really appropriate for a Pastoral Intern to wear. Then I look into a store like Kohls, L.L. Bean, and JC Penney to find some clothes and feel like I have just walked into my mid-30s. How am I supposed to find clothes that are age appropriate and job appropriate? Even when I do find clothes that I think will work they cost an arm and a leg so I am back to square one.
If I wear the younger looking stuff I have to deal with people thinking that I am younger than I am and I can only take being confused for a 18 year old so many times before I start to get a little frustrated. I am not ready to start wearing the older looking stuff because I am only 25 and would like to give off the impression that I have some kind of fashion sense. My closet right now is a little lop-sided with lots of grey sweatshirts from college and seminary and lots of pairs of black pants with random shirts. I have a lot of skirts but they are mostly black and boring. Someone actually mentioned how much black that I wear at church the other day - so apparently my colored sweaters that I wear over my black clerical shirt and black pants are not diverting their attention enough.
Oh well, life goes on I suppose. Eventually I will figure out what I should be wearing and be able to afford it. Until then I will just have to make things work.
If I wear the younger looking stuff I have to deal with people thinking that I am younger than I am and I can only take being confused for a 18 year old so many times before I start to get a little frustrated. I am not ready to start wearing the older looking stuff because I am only 25 and would like to give off the impression that I have some kind of fashion sense. My closet right now is a little lop-sided with lots of grey sweatshirts from college and seminary and lots of pairs of black pants with random shirts. I have a lot of skirts but they are mostly black and boring. Someone actually mentioned how much black that I wear at church the other day - so apparently my colored sweaters that I wear over my black clerical shirt and black pants are not diverting their attention enough.
Oh well, life goes on I suppose. Eventually I will figure out what I should be wearing and be able to afford it. Until then I will just have to make things work.
Saturday, March 25, 2006
One more...
I almost forgot to post a picture of Tim! Some people have not met him so this is probably helpful for those people. This picture is from a beer festival that we attended in the fall of 2004. Aren't we cute? :)
Friday, March 24, 2006
Picture Pages!
Do you remember Pictures Pages with Bill Cosby? I remember always wanting one of those special books that he had and that cool pen with the kid on it - Mom denied me everytime. Oh well. I thought I would post some pictures for those of you who were tired of reading about my adventures. Also, today was pretty boring and there is really nothing to report. So, enjoy!
I promised Tara that I would post some pictures of her from college. So here they are. The first one is of me and Snorman pretending to sky dive in the 5 West hallway. The second is of Tara and LeeAnn, two beautiful women!
This is my engagement ring. I cleaned it up and took some pictures today for fun. For the ring story, of course there is a story, click the link for the Wedding Info and read it there. It's kind of long, otherwise I would post it here. It's a great way that we can keep my Mom with us all the time.
I would post pictures of my wedding dress but Tim reads this blog and I would hate to ruin the surprise for him. If you want to see pics of that let me know and I will email them to you.
Finally, here is a picture of the snow storm that we had in February - the date on the camera was wrong. We had over two feet of snow and we STILL had worship that day. I actually had to walk through that to go to church, TWICE! Crazy CT people! The lump on the left is my car...
I promised Tara that I would post some pictures of her from college. So here they are. The first one is of me and Snorman pretending to sky dive in the 5 West hallway. The second is of Tara and LeeAnn, two beautiful women!
This is my engagement ring. I cleaned it up and took some pictures today for fun. For the ring story, of course there is a story, click the link for the Wedding Info and read it there. It's kind of long, otherwise I would post it here. It's a great way that we can keep my Mom with us all the time.
I would post pictures of my wedding dress but Tim reads this blog and I would hate to ruin the surprise for him. If you want to see pics of that let me know and I will email them to you.
Finally, here is a picture of the snow storm that we had in February - the date on the camera was wrong. We had over two feet of snow and we STILL had worship that day. I actually had to walk through that to go to church, TWICE! Crazy CT people! The lump on the left is my car...
Thursday, March 23, 2006
It was a good day
After a massive sinus headache that left me out of commission for most of yesterday I woke up this morning feeling fantastic. I lost another pound in the last week making my grand total... 11 pounds! I feel better than I have in a very long time and am really proud of myself for working so hard.
I had SUPERvision with my supervisor this morning and we went over my mid-year evaluation. I was pleased to see that she has a lot of confidence in my skills for the ministry. It was also nice to know that we are both on the same page as far as my progress in this internship goes. She feels that I am moving at a pace that is ahead of the timeline originally set out and that we should be sure to manage our time wisely in the next 4 months. We then had an extensive meeting about Holy Week and the various service preparations we need to make. It's gonna be a busy week but we can definitely get through with class and style. I am preaching at the ecumenical Good Friday service so I need to prepare a message about God that doesn't offend anyone - maybe I will post it when I am done.
And now for an unrelated topic: There are some hoodlums that drive around my house in their loud cars. Sometimes they like to park in the church parking lot and have little parties in our memorial garden - where people's remains have been buried/scattered. I am always torn about what I should do about these people. I have called the police a couple of times and each time the people have scattered before the police arrive - Bristol police are a little slow on the uptake and have been known to operate racist radio stations so I have little faith in their promise to help. There have been many church break-ins in Bristol and so those of us who are clergy are more vigilant than usual about our buildings and how they are secured. In the police department's defense they do go around to the churches at night and pull on the doors to make sure they are locked - we know this because there have been a few times when they were not and the alarm went off at 3am. But I hesitate to call the police all the time because I think that the trespassers can see me in my house and thats why they flee before the police get their asses here. Also, I live alone - it sucks! - and I am scared enough when I go to bed at night let alone when I have called the police on some teenagers who just wanted a place to drink and have sex. I hear their loud cars driving in and out of the parking lot all night. It's really a catch-22 because I know I should call but for my own safety and sanity I should not. This is the stuff they don't teach you in seminary, maybe I could start a class next year.
In other news, I had my first Ham and Pickle salad sandwich yesterday. If you ever encounter this combination I would advise that you walk away slowly and find anything else in the room to eat. Somehow we ended up with 3 trays of these horrible sandwiches at the Lenten soup/sandwich dinner last night. At first I thought that I might like it because it involves two of my favorite foods - until I realized that they used sweet pickles and I was done. I don't know what culture this came from but I think they should take it back. Seriously, how is that good? I bet those silly Swedes brought them over - send them back!!!
Tomorrow I am taking my supervisor to the YMCA to work out in the afternoon. I think she forgot that it is actually her day off and not mine but I decided not to fight it and take advantage of the work out time. I will let you know how it goes tomorrow - sometimes those eliptical machines can be tricky...
I had SUPERvision with my supervisor this morning and we went over my mid-year evaluation. I was pleased to see that she has a lot of confidence in my skills for the ministry. It was also nice to know that we are both on the same page as far as my progress in this internship goes. She feels that I am moving at a pace that is ahead of the timeline originally set out and that we should be sure to manage our time wisely in the next 4 months. We then had an extensive meeting about Holy Week and the various service preparations we need to make. It's gonna be a busy week but we can definitely get through with class and style. I am preaching at the ecumenical Good Friday service so I need to prepare a message about God that doesn't offend anyone - maybe I will post it when I am done.
And now for an unrelated topic: There are some hoodlums that drive around my house in their loud cars. Sometimes they like to park in the church parking lot and have little parties in our memorial garden - where people's remains have been buried/scattered. I am always torn about what I should do about these people. I have called the police a couple of times and each time the people have scattered before the police arrive - Bristol police are a little slow on the uptake and have been known to operate racist radio stations so I have little faith in their promise to help. There have been many church break-ins in Bristol and so those of us who are clergy are more vigilant than usual about our buildings and how they are secured. In the police department's defense they do go around to the churches at night and pull on the doors to make sure they are locked - we know this because there have been a few times when they were not and the alarm went off at 3am. But I hesitate to call the police all the time because I think that the trespassers can see me in my house and thats why they flee before the police get their asses here. Also, I live alone - it sucks! - and I am scared enough when I go to bed at night let alone when I have called the police on some teenagers who just wanted a place to drink and have sex. I hear their loud cars driving in and out of the parking lot all night. It's really a catch-22 because I know I should call but for my own safety and sanity I should not. This is the stuff they don't teach you in seminary, maybe I could start a class next year.
In other news, I had my first Ham and Pickle salad sandwich yesterday. If you ever encounter this combination I would advise that you walk away slowly and find anything else in the room to eat. Somehow we ended up with 3 trays of these horrible sandwiches at the Lenten soup/sandwich dinner last night. At first I thought that I might like it because it involves two of my favorite foods - until I realized that they used sweet pickles and I was done. I don't know what culture this came from but I think they should take it back. Seriously, how is that good? I bet those silly Swedes brought them over - send them back!!!
Tomorrow I am taking my supervisor to the YMCA to work out in the afternoon. I think she forgot that it is actually her day off and not mine but I decided not to fight it and take advantage of the work out time. I will let you know how it goes tomorrow - sometimes those eliptical machines can be tricky...
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Control Yourself
In the midst of internship there is a relationship built between the intern and the supervisor that, in some cases, rivals most marriages with time spent together and work done in partnership. During this 11 month intense time of cooperation we begin to learn things about each other that others might not pick up on since they are not around you nearly half as much. In 5 and a half months I have come to the definitive conclusion that my supervisor is a control freak.
She writes the 'Sunday Paper' - weekly news insert for the bulletin - herself and has never consulted anyone else in doing this. There is not one committee that she does not attend the meeting for or has her hand in. She dominates almost every conversation she is a part of and will almost always have the last word. Disagreeing with her is probably her biggest pet peeve - esp when the lowly intern tries to raise her meager voice in opposition. She has trouble hearing other people's opinions about almost everything.
I guess for the most part I just deal with it and move on with my life. I have come to the conclusion that with 4 and half months to go I can't really change her so I just need to learn as much as I can before I am finished. For the most part I learn a lot from her and appreciate the conversations and insights that she has for ministry and how I can be more effective - or maybe she is telling me to be more like her... hmmm. In any case, no matter if she is a control freak or not she is pretty true to herself and I have to respect that. I just wish she would stick to only controlling herself.
She writes the 'Sunday Paper' - weekly news insert for the bulletin - herself and has never consulted anyone else in doing this. There is not one committee that she does not attend the meeting for or has her hand in. She dominates almost every conversation she is a part of and will almost always have the last word. Disagreeing with her is probably her biggest pet peeve - esp when the lowly intern tries to raise her meager voice in opposition. She has trouble hearing other people's opinions about almost everything.
I guess for the most part I just deal with it and move on with my life. I have come to the conclusion that with 4 and half months to go I can't really change her so I just need to learn as much as I can before I am finished. For the most part I learn a lot from her and appreciate the conversations and insights that she has for ministry and how I can be more effective - or maybe she is telling me to be more like her... hmmm. In any case, no matter if she is a control freak or not she is pretty true to herself and I have to respect that. I just wish she would stick to only controlling herself.
Monday, March 20, 2006
I heart Mondays
I think that one of the best parts of this internship has been having Monday as a day off. It's my favorite day because I get to do whatever I want and I do not have to do any work at all. It's fantastic.
So I went to the mall today in an effort to do some retail therapy and pretend like I have a lot of money. There is only one mall in a 15 mile radius. I think there are 4 malls total in the entire state of CT - its really weird. In NJ I had 3 malls within 4 miles of my house at my disposal. I also had 3 Target stores and here in CT I only have one and it's next to the mall. So when I go to Target or the mall I need to make sure that I get everything I need before I leave because if I forget something it might be a week before I have time to drive all the way out there again.
Some of you might be wondering why I just don't go to the local Wal-Mart instead of driving so far to go to Target. Well, I should tell you that Wal-Mart is no longer alive to me. Most of the time I forget there is one around the corner until someone mention's it, then I purposely forget it exists again. Wal-Mart has to be one of the worst corporations on the planet. The poor souls that are employed there will probably work there for their entire lives and never be able to actually shop there - no matter how low their prices are. The reason their prices are so low is because they save on overhead by not paying their employees enough in the first place. I know this first hand because I was employed at the Wal-Mart in my hometown for 3 months in the summer. I am not proud of this employment but it has opened my eyes to the insufficient wages that Wal-Mart pays it's employees. While I was a student who had parents to support her and did not have to worry about paying bills I know that those around me were in a much worse situation. I won't go on but just know that I will never shop at Wal-Mart, no matter how close it is to my home and how far away Target is.
The rest of the day was pretty good. Did some laundry and watched TV. By the way, the top news story tonight in CT is about a cat rescue gone bad, they even have footage of the cat flying throught the air to it's death. I wish I was making this up - I sometimes think the news people do.
So I went to the mall today in an effort to do some retail therapy and pretend like I have a lot of money. There is only one mall in a 15 mile radius. I think there are 4 malls total in the entire state of CT - its really weird. In NJ I had 3 malls within 4 miles of my house at my disposal. I also had 3 Target stores and here in CT I only have one and it's next to the mall. So when I go to Target or the mall I need to make sure that I get everything I need before I leave because if I forget something it might be a week before I have time to drive all the way out there again.
Some of you might be wondering why I just don't go to the local Wal-Mart instead of driving so far to go to Target. Well, I should tell you that Wal-Mart is no longer alive to me. Most of the time I forget there is one around the corner until someone mention's it, then I purposely forget it exists again. Wal-Mart has to be one of the worst corporations on the planet. The poor souls that are employed there will probably work there for their entire lives and never be able to actually shop there - no matter how low their prices are. The reason their prices are so low is because they save on overhead by not paying their employees enough in the first place. I know this first hand because I was employed at the Wal-Mart in my hometown for 3 months in the summer. I am not proud of this employment but it has opened my eyes to the insufficient wages that Wal-Mart pays it's employees. While I was a student who had parents to support her and did not have to worry about paying bills I know that those around me were in a much worse situation. I won't go on but just know that I will never shop at Wal-Mart, no matter how close it is to my home and how far away Target is.
The rest of the day was pretty good. Did some laundry and watched TV. By the way, the top news story tonight in CT is about a cat rescue gone bad, they even have footage of the cat flying throught the air to it's death. I wish I was making this up - I sometimes think the news people do.
Saturday, March 18, 2006
Tired
I am so tired. I did not blog last night because I was at church at a lock-in for the middle school kids that went with us to Youth Quake in January. We had a great time and even had live music from a group of our kids who decided to become a band and cover some Captive Free songs - we ignored the fact that the CDs that they used for background help were louder than the kids. I got it all on video so I will show the kids the footage later on and leave them the tape to keep this memory. We had pizza, played Hide and Go Seek in the dark in the church - which everyone loved! - a bible study about Stand on the Rock (theme from Youth Quake) and had a great discussion with the kids. It was really a great event and I am so proud of the kids for being wonderful and cleaning up really well - no one would ever know we had a band set up!
One of the downfalls of a lock-in is that we do not sleep much, if at all. I am quickly realizing this year that I do not have the same bounce back abilities as I did in high school and college. My body is still aching from sleeping on the hard floor last night and I was a zombie after 1pm today. Luckily I was able to get a nap this afternoon and get some energy to be a little productive this evening. I am not feeling old but I am realizing that if I am going to be doing this for a little while I need to prepare myself appropriately for the amount of recovery time needed.
I had to wake up early this morning and run to my house to shower before I had to leave for a meeting in Manchester, CT for Cruzando training. Cruzando, Spanish for crossing, is the theme for the ELCA National Youth Gathering in San Antonio, TX this summer. It was really good to see other leaders from New England Synod churches and get to discuss our fundraising ideas, covenants, and our past gathering experiences - both good and bad. I think that it helped the two other leaders from Gloria Dei because this is their first gathering and there is only so much that I can tell them to get excited - this event really helped them understand how great this really is. The gathering is one of the last events that I will attend on internship and I am really looking foward the whole experience.
Maybe tomorrow I will have some more deep insight into life - right now I am becoming a zombie again and should probably go to bed.
One of the downfalls of a lock-in is that we do not sleep much, if at all. I am quickly realizing this year that I do not have the same bounce back abilities as I did in high school and college. My body is still aching from sleeping on the hard floor last night and I was a zombie after 1pm today. Luckily I was able to get a nap this afternoon and get some energy to be a little productive this evening. I am not feeling old but I am realizing that if I am going to be doing this for a little while I need to prepare myself appropriately for the amount of recovery time needed.
I had to wake up early this morning and run to my house to shower before I had to leave for a meeting in Manchester, CT for Cruzando training. Cruzando, Spanish for crossing, is the theme for the ELCA National Youth Gathering in San Antonio, TX this summer. It was really good to see other leaders from New England Synod churches and get to discuss our fundraising ideas, covenants, and our past gathering experiences - both good and bad. I think that it helped the two other leaders from Gloria Dei because this is their first gathering and there is only so much that I can tell them to get excited - this event really helped them understand how great this really is. The gathering is one of the last events that I will attend on internship and I am really looking foward the whole experience.
Maybe tomorrow I will have some more deep insight into life - right now I am becoming a zombie again and should probably go to bed.
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Reminders of India
Today was a little more exciting than I had first anticipated. I had to go into Hartford to visit a parishoner at his place of work. Now this sounds a little odd to some people so I should explain. He works at a shelter/soup kitchen/mental health facility in East Hartford and I had been encouraged to visit him and learn about his agency. It was quite fascinating.
I had a moment to stand in the lobby as I waited for him to come down from his office and I noticed that there was a similar odor to what I found in India. It was the combination of uncleanliness of both body and clothes. I would hate to label the smell as 'poverty' but that is what it is and sometimes you just have to tell it like it is. We took a tour around the facility and I soon was able to see how much financial support is missing from this place. It provides 'transitional housing' for about 80 people and feeds them 3 meals a day. It has a soup kitchen downstairs that has two meals (breakfast and lunch) served everyday and feeds over 150 people. There is a small clinic where nurses are available for simple health issues. And on top of everything is a smaller social services office where 3 case workers all have desks and are there for help during normal business hours. On top of all of this there is another 10 bed wing that houses a mental health department for people who are being rehabilitated back into society but are dealing with chemical dysfunctions that are not connected to drugs and alcohol. The plight of this agency is hard because of the lack of funds that are available for the things that they need the most. The would love to rehabilitate the 200 year old building that they are housed in but it is an historical site and the only money they receive for maintenance will barely clean the floors. It was hard to walk around and see all of the good being done in this place and not be angry with the powers that be for not taking care of such a place more carefully. It's days like today when I feel like those who work for those who have the least are the ones who end up having the least because the support they receive is atrocious. If we are really a country built on freedom and equality for all why is it so hard to help each other get out of the gutter and back into a life that makes them feel alive instead of like the walking dead? It really blows my mind sometimes and I feel really small and unable to help at all.
Today gave me something to think about and a new way to think about my life on this earth and particularly in this country. We have been given the right to vote and I intend on using that vote and my voice to speak on bahalf of those who need it and fight for the rights of those who have been told that they have none. No one deserves to live in filth and have to feel as if they are not worthy of help no matter what their circumstances. Jesus loved all people including those who were the least favored by society - therefore it is our job to show that love to each other and know that all of God's people need to know that they are God's children, no matter what.
I had a moment to stand in the lobby as I waited for him to come down from his office and I noticed that there was a similar odor to what I found in India. It was the combination of uncleanliness of both body and clothes. I would hate to label the smell as 'poverty' but that is what it is and sometimes you just have to tell it like it is. We took a tour around the facility and I soon was able to see how much financial support is missing from this place. It provides 'transitional housing' for about 80 people and feeds them 3 meals a day. It has a soup kitchen downstairs that has two meals (breakfast and lunch) served everyday and feeds over 150 people. There is a small clinic where nurses are available for simple health issues. And on top of everything is a smaller social services office where 3 case workers all have desks and are there for help during normal business hours. On top of all of this there is another 10 bed wing that houses a mental health department for people who are being rehabilitated back into society but are dealing with chemical dysfunctions that are not connected to drugs and alcohol. The plight of this agency is hard because of the lack of funds that are available for the things that they need the most. The would love to rehabilitate the 200 year old building that they are housed in but it is an historical site and the only money they receive for maintenance will barely clean the floors. It was hard to walk around and see all of the good being done in this place and not be angry with the powers that be for not taking care of such a place more carefully. It's days like today when I feel like those who work for those who have the least are the ones who end up having the least because the support they receive is atrocious. If we are really a country built on freedom and equality for all why is it so hard to help each other get out of the gutter and back into a life that makes them feel alive instead of like the walking dead? It really blows my mind sometimes and I feel really small and unable to help at all.
Today gave me something to think about and a new way to think about my life on this earth and particularly in this country. We have been given the right to vote and I intend on using that vote and my voice to speak on bahalf of those who need it and fight for the rights of those who have been told that they have none. No one deserves to live in filth and have to feel as if they are not worthy of help no matter what their circumstances. Jesus loved all people including those who were the least favored by society - therefore it is our job to show that love to each other and know that all of God's people need to know that they are God's children, no matter what.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Nod and Smile
Today started out looking like the day from hell. The secretary was in the hospital and is now out for the rest of the week. We had to throw the bulletin together for Sunday and now we have to work on the Messenger (newsletter) so it doesn't go out too much later than anticipated. We had to go to a BAAM meeting (explained below) and we still had Lenten activities this evening along with the added bonus of a council meeting - Beware the Ides of March, indeed!
BAAM stands for Bristol Area Association of Ministers. We meet once a month at a church and have lunch provided by great church ladies usually including large cookies and lots of rippled potato chips. Usually there is the same group of people including the Catholic Priest and a nun (not from the same parish) and the Baptist, 2 Methodist, 2 Congregational, Lutheran (well one of the 4 churches) and Assembly of God pastors and all but 4 of us are male. I have learned most of their names and pride myself on knowing where each one comes from as far as the religious spectrum goes. One thing that I have noticed is that each time we need I end up having to re-introduce myself to most of the members. And if I was questioning their lack of interest in who I am before I only had to take a look at the bulletin for the Good Friday community service. Not only was my name left out (I am preaching) but there wasn't even a place that said that there was a message to begin with. They had to write my name into their margins and fix the bulletin before it could go to print. Then when they were filling it in the asked me what my name was AGAIN! I did end up making a snide comment halfway under my breath that I wondered how much more they would remember my name if I was a man - I am pretty sure no one heard me because they were still trying to process the fact that my name was one word, not two. I told my supervisor that I would be interested to know if her intern next year, who is a man, was more well received and recognized by this group - she said that she was as well but probably wouldn't tell me either way for my own good - gotta love her.
So the day did not end as badly as it had seemed which was nice. The weather is taking a turn to the windy with a spoonful of cold and snowy. I am SO ready for spring!
BAAM stands for Bristol Area Association of Ministers. We meet once a month at a church and have lunch provided by great church ladies usually including large cookies and lots of rippled potato chips. Usually there is the same group of people including the Catholic Priest and a nun (not from the same parish) and the Baptist, 2 Methodist, 2 Congregational, Lutheran (well one of the 4 churches) and Assembly of God pastors and all but 4 of us are male. I have learned most of their names and pride myself on knowing where each one comes from as far as the religious spectrum goes. One thing that I have noticed is that each time we need I end up having to re-introduce myself to most of the members. And if I was questioning their lack of interest in who I am before I only had to take a look at the bulletin for the Good Friday community service. Not only was my name left out (I am preaching) but there wasn't even a place that said that there was a message to begin with. They had to write my name into their margins and fix the bulletin before it could go to print. Then when they were filling it in the asked me what my name was AGAIN! I did end up making a snide comment halfway under my breath that I wondered how much more they would remember my name if I was a man - I am pretty sure no one heard me because they were still trying to process the fact that my name was one word, not two. I told my supervisor that I would be interested to know if her intern next year, who is a man, was more well received and recognized by this group - she said that she was as well but probably wouldn't tell me either way for my own good - gotta love her.
So the day did not end as badly as it had seemed which was nice. The weather is taking a turn to the windy with a spoonful of cold and snowy. I am SO ready for spring!
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Feeling better
Woke up this morning able to breathe a little easier through my nose and still felt like the 8lbs that I have lost far have not crept back into my life. Unfortunately I did not wake up until 10 so I had to do a little running around to get some stuff done.
We had pericope this afternoon and it sucked. We had a presentation about the ELCA Global Mission Event from a very damp and stupid man. Usually this event should bring excitment and fun for those involved, unfortunately this guy didn't get the memo that he shouldn't walk into conference meetings and act like no one wants to get involved. There was actually a moment when I looked around the room and no one was actually engaged in what this man was saying, it was quite sad. Then one of the pastors led a brief text study for the gospel lesson for next Sunday that was almost as crappy as the previous presentation. In college and seminary I learned how to present my work in a way that made it look like I actually did more work than I did - apparently this pastor missed that part of his experience. He always brings printouts from online sermons and text studies. Just once I would love to see something that he actually did himself, he makes this job look like anyone can do it if they have a computer and know which sites to use. The good part of the afternoon was getting back into the car with my Supervisor and knowing that she completely agreed with me about our experience. I do like her most of the time.
I tried to make a pita bread pizza today and failed miserably. Brother has been making these kinds of pizzas forever and I thought that since I have watched him do it over and over I might have caught on to how to accomplish this - but of course I failed. I pre-cooked the pita like the package said so that could have been my first mistake but I think that the ultimate mistake was using Prego Three Cheese sauce instead of regular tomato sauce - Brother also confirmed this fact. He also recommended using a toaster oven instead of the conventional oven - unfortunately I will not have my toaster oven until either someone buy's it for us for the wedding or we buy it for ourselves, until then I will just keep on trying. Or maybe just make the ham and cheese sandwiches - an art which I have mastered, phew.
March is going a little slower than I would have liked but I guess it's ok since I have so much work to do before the month is over. I have 4 and a half months left here and the last 3 are going to fly by. My project is slated for April 23 and I cannot wait for that to be over becuase then I will be able to concentrate on going to the Nat'l Youth Gathering with the kids and maybe even on getting married. Life is really starting to come together and I could not be happier about it.
We had pericope this afternoon and it sucked. We had a presentation about the ELCA Global Mission Event from a very damp and stupid man. Usually this event should bring excitment and fun for those involved, unfortunately this guy didn't get the memo that he shouldn't walk into conference meetings and act like no one wants to get involved. There was actually a moment when I looked around the room and no one was actually engaged in what this man was saying, it was quite sad. Then one of the pastors led a brief text study for the gospel lesson for next Sunday that was almost as crappy as the previous presentation. In college and seminary I learned how to present my work in a way that made it look like I actually did more work than I did - apparently this pastor missed that part of his experience. He always brings printouts from online sermons and text studies. Just once I would love to see something that he actually did himself, he makes this job look like anyone can do it if they have a computer and know which sites to use. The good part of the afternoon was getting back into the car with my Supervisor and knowing that she completely agreed with me about our experience. I do like her most of the time.
I tried to make a pita bread pizza today and failed miserably. Brother has been making these kinds of pizzas forever and I thought that since I have watched him do it over and over I might have caught on to how to accomplish this - but of course I failed. I pre-cooked the pita like the package said so that could have been my first mistake but I think that the ultimate mistake was using Prego Three Cheese sauce instead of regular tomato sauce - Brother also confirmed this fact. He also recommended using a toaster oven instead of the conventional oven - unfortunately I will not have my toaster oven until either someone buy's it for us for the wedding or we buy it for ourselves, until then I will just keep on trying. Or maybe just make the ham and cheese sandwiches - an art which I have mastered, phew.
March is going a little slower than I would have liked but I guess it's ok since I have so much work to do before the month is over. I have 4 and a half months left here and the last 3 are going to fly by. My project is slated for April 23 and I cannot wait for that to be over becuase then I will be able to concentrate on going to the Nat'l Youth Gathering with the kids and maybe even on getting married. Life is really starting to come together and I could not be happier about it.
Monday, March 13, 2006
But it was my day off...
Monday is my day off and for the last few weeks I have not been able to really relax and enjoy it - today was no different. I woke up still sick and unable to speak a whole sentence without my voice going in and out so you could only hear certain syllables. My nose was still runny too. What a way to wake up.
I debated for most of the morning about whether or not I should go to the doctor to see what exactly is wrong with me. In the past, when I needed to make such a decision I would usually call Mom. Somehow we have this instinct that when we are sick and need to figure out what we should take or do to care for ourselves we call our Mother. Well, for those of you who really know me you know that calling my Mom is impossible so you can imagine my frustration. No one ever tells you how to deal with this when they help you grieve a parent. There should be someone designated in this position for just these types of situations so that those of us who were not yet ready to figure this stuff out on our own can still have some help. So I ended up going to the little clinic that my f@#king insurance allows me to go when I am sick - my hate for this insurance policy is so much that I don't even think that all of my ranting would fit into one blog. The Physicians ASSistant (or PA for you doctor types - ASS emphasis intentional) was colder than Minnesota in the dead of winter and after I told her that I had been sick for a week and how my voice really doesn't sound like a chain-smoking man she said that it was probably just viral and gave me a script for something for my sinuses - which I told her DIDN'T hurt. Also, when I told her that my mucous was green (sorry for the graphics) she said that color really doesn't matter - so my stuff could have been purple and it just meant that I must have eaten a lot of grape Skittles??? So I left feeling like I should have trusted my gut and not gone at all and just waited for this crud to do it's thing and go away.
I then went to the store and picked up some more food - Dannon yogurt was on sale, 10 for $5, total steal! The rest of the day was just crappy because I don't get good cell reception here and when Tim called I couldn't talk to him much at all. I cannot stress enough how much this living arrangement sucks. I finished the day with some wedding stuff and more TV - really can't get enough of the stuff. All in all it was a sucky day, even if it was my day off.
I debated for most of the morning about whether or not I should go to the doctor to see what exactly is wrong with me. In the past, when I needed to make such a decision I would usually call Mom. Somehow we have this instinct that when we are sick and need to figure out what we should take or do to care for ourselves we call our Mother. Well, for those of you who really know me you know that calling my Mom is impossible so you can imagine my frustration. No one ever tells you how to deal with this when they help you grieve a parent. There should be someone designated in this position for just these types of situations so that those of us who were not yet ready to figure this stuff out on our own can still have some help. So I ended up going to the little clinic that my f@#king insurance allows me to go when I am sick - my hate for this insurance policy is so much that I don't even think that all of my ranting would fit into one blog. The Physicians ASSistant (or PA for you doctor types - ASS emphasis intentional) was colder than Minnesota in the dead of winter and after I told her that I had been sick for a week and how my voice really doesn't sound like a chain-smoking man she said that it was probably just viral and gave me a script for something for my sinuses - which I told her DIDN'T hurt. Also, when I told her that my mucous was green (sorry for the graphics) she said that color really doesn't matter - so my stuff could have been purple and it just meant that I must have eaten a lot of grape Skittles??? So I left feeling like I should have trusted my gut and not gone at all and just waited for this crud to do it's thing and go away.
I then went to the store and picked up some more food - Dannon yogurt was on sale, 10 for $5, total steal! The rest of the day was just crappy because I don't get good cell reception here and when Tim called I couldn't talk to him much at all. I cannot stress enough how much this living arrangement sucks. I finished the day with some wedding stuff and more TV - really can't get enough of the stuff. All in all it was a sucky day, even if it was my day off.
Sunday, March 12, 2006
What?!
I just looked in the mirror and realized that I have sunburn all over my face! What the hell?! I was outside for maybe 45 minutes today!! This is ridiculous and just tops off my stupid day. I am lonely, tired and sunburnt!
Blah
Today was really boring and lonely. I woke up before 10 because I am congested like it's my job so I had an extra few hours to kill this morning just hanging out. I like Saturdays because I can usually sleep in and wear jeans all day - a luxury I really miss from my undergrad and seminary days.
Today was gorgeous outside and so I had the doors and windows open to let the house air out. My only task for the day was to write my sermon for tomorrow morning but that was turning out to be a task that was not going to be accomplished in any kind of manageable time frame. I turned off the TV and set my iPod to play all kinds of fun classical/churchy music so I would be inspired. That worked for about 3 hours and I only wrote 2 paragraphs.
So then I took my car to the car wash since I had a free pass and it was not raining or snowing today. It was a nice little drive with the sunroof vented and my windows down. Then I came home.
To make a long, boring story short - I then watched some college basketball and also watched two new TLC shows. I watched "Little People, Big World" and thought it was ok - not as interesting as I thought. I then watched the Duggers (those people in Arkansas that have 16 children) build a 7000 sq ft house by themselves in over 3 years. It was like watching ants build with an Erector Set. You know its a great family when all of the kids' names begin with J and the dad's name is Jim Bob - no lie.
Ok, now I am rambling. I need to go to bed so I can get up and preach tomorrow. Blah.
Today was gorgeous outside and so I had the doors and windows open to let the house air out. My only task for the day was to write my sermon for tomorrow morning but that was turning out to be a task that was not going to be accomplished in any kind of manageable time frame. I turned off the TV and set my iPod to play all kinds of fun classical/churchy music so I would be inspired. That worked for about 3 hours and I only wrote 2 paragraphs.
So then I took my car to the car wash since I had a free pass and it was not raining or snowing today. It was a nice little drive with the sunroof vented and my windows down. Then I came home.
To make a long, boring story short - I then watched some college basketball and also watched two new TLC shows. I watched "Little People, Big World" and thought it was ok - not as interesting as I thought. I then watched the Duggers (those people in Arkansas that have 16 children) build a 7000 sq ft house by themselves in over 3 years. It was like watching ants build with an Erector Set. You know its a great family when all of the kids' names begin with J and the dad's name is Jim Bob - no lie.
Ok, now I am rambling. I need to go to bed so I can get up and preach tomorrow. Blah.
Friday, March 10, 2006
Mini Homecoming
I took a drive to Stamford, CT tonight to see the Valpo Chorale in concert as part of their Spring break tour. It was so great to hear them and just reflect on my experience at VU. Remembering my experiences kind of reminded me of how lucky I am to have had such a great exprience there. There was a guy at the CD table after the concert who I had known when I was a senior and he was a freshman - it was Brian Wise for those of you who might know who I am talking about. I re-introduced myself and reminded him that he knew me because I dated one of his frat brothers (Paul Friesen-Carper) my senior year. Then he remembered all of a sudden and said "Oh yeah! You lived at... Homer Court!" I said "Yes!!!" What a great feeling that our legend of great parties and fun in general lives on through the years! I will have to email the other housemates from 1001 and let them know. I think the ball pit really put us on the map - that and the cheap beer.
So I had a great time there and remembered all of the professors/people that I need to email to update on my life. I also remembered how important my Valpo experience has been for my self-esteem and self-confidence in general. Overall, I think I have 2 friends from high school that I actually still talk to and thats because I really was a dork in high school and just did not have the time or motivation to make friends - being the captain of the bowling team is not the fastest way to make friends in high school. But when I went to VU I was able to make a fresh start and really begin to figure out who I was and how to be genuine with myself and comfortable in my own skin. Many of my friends might not know this but every single person that I knew at Valpo has influenced my life in some way. The 5 West wing in Alumni Hall (We like it on Top!), travelling around Europe for a semester, Church Vocations symposium, Social Concerns (now SALT), Chapel staff, Admissions office, VAULT, and of course, Team Lush have all been great experiences for me and I would not be the well-adjusted person that I am today without them. They have taught me that it's ok to be excited about theology and that just because I am going to be a pastor I can still have a good time with my friends. I have friends all over the planet now and that is something that still amazes me sometimes.
I love Valpo and will continue to support it until I die and if I have a big enough estate when I die (yeah right) I will leave a scholarship endowment for people who were the captain of the bowling team in high school... :)
So I had a great time there and remembered all of the professors/people that I need to email to update on my life. I also remembered how important my Valpo experience has been for my self-esteem and self-confidence in general. Overall, I think I have 2 friends from high school that I actually still talk to and thats because I really was a dork in high school and just did not have the time or motivation to make friends - being the captain of the bowling team is not the fastest way to make friends in high school. But when I went to VU I was able to make a fresh start and really begin to figure out who I was and how to be genuine with myself and comfortable in my own skin. Many of my friends might not know this but every single person that I knew at Valpo has influenced my life in some way. The 5 West wing in Alumni Hall (We like it on Top!), travelling around Europe for a semester, Church Vocations symposium, Social Concerns (now SALT), Chapel staff, Admissions office, VAULT, and of course, Team Lush have all been great experiences for me and I would not be the well-adjusted person that I am today without them. They have taught me that it's ok to be excited about theology and that just because I am going to be a pastor I can still have a good time with my friends. I have friends all over the planet now and that is something that still amazes me sometimes.
I love Valpo and will continue to support it until I die and if I have a big enough estate when I die (yeah right) I will leave a scholarship endowment for people who were the captain of the bowling team in high school... :)
Thursday, March 09, 2006
When the Vicar disagrees with the Pastor...
Today, we had a meeting of the Worship and Music committee. The chair brought up an idea to introduce the 'common cup' idea to our communion practice. The 'common cup' (cc from now on) is the cup from which people will directly drink from during communion instead of dipping their bread/wafer into the wine (intinction) or getting a little cup of wine (shot glass style). Now, it seems that there are only a few ways to implement this in a community that already has two cups offered at communion for intinction, one with grape juice and one with wine. There are some health concerns that many people have, some for good reason (I am pretty sure that I got 'mono' from the cc) and others because people still do not know how AIDS is actually spread (I wish I was kidding...), so we came to the conclusion that we needed to add another cup into the mix that would be solely for people to drink from directly.
The pastor had two ideas, one was to have a kind of "Last Call" type of situation where most people (those who will prefer intinction) would come up to the rail when they felt like it and then at the end the last group at the alter up would be given the cc. As I imagined this in practice I had visions of chaos and people not know when exactly they should approach the table and potentially going at the wrong time or maybe even not at all which is not what our goal is here. Her other idea was to have one side of the communion rail offer the cc and the other side have the intinction cups with wine and grape juice. Another idea that while sounded good in theory (in her head at least) might not be as effective in keeping the confusion down and not distracting from the sacrament we are trying to focus on. I kept picturing "Dippers" and "Sippers" signs over the alter directing people to their correct water fountain, OH I mean communion wine, my bad.
Well during this lovely discussion I was feeling a little ballsy and decided that I would actually voice my opinion about this situation from my experience in the last 6 months at this church. I basically told the pastor that both of her ideas were not going to work logistically, but in a tone that was supportive and not to harsh (we learned to be smooth in seminary). Well, she looked at me as if I had 3 heads for a) disagreeing with her and b) thinking that I might actually understand the people in a different way than she does. I then suggested that it might be more helpful and less disruptive to the ritual if we added another person to carry the cc and have it available for those who wish to use it. Well then she said that my idea drew too much attention to the American idea of materialism and how we have so many choices and options in our world and that was not how we should present the holy meal of Jesus. I then wanted to point out that we are already talking about offering another option for wine and that how we offer it does not make it any less of a choice for the people, there will still be 3 options! But I bit my tongue (that was another class in seminary).
Those on the committee ended up agreeing with me for the most part and I felt as if it was a moral victory for myself as a Vicar who will no longer just nod and smile all the time when the Pastor speaks her mind and I disagree. There has been many an occasion for which I have wished to confront her decisions and there are many battles for which I choose not to fight but when you start messing with worship, and changing the experience in a distracting way for the people, I have to speak up. So while today was not an overwhelmingly excellent day I have resolved to take my small victory as just that, small, and do some yoga - never knew my legs could bend that way.
The pastor had two ideas, one was to have a kind of "Last Call" type of situation where most people (those who will prefer intinction) would come up to the rail when they felt like it and then at the end the last group at the alter up would be given the cc. As I imagined this in practice I had visions of chaos and people not know when exactly they should approach the table and potentially going at the wrong time or maybe even not at all which is not what our goal is here. Her other idea was to have one side of the communion rail offer the cc and the other side have the intinction cups with wine and grape juice. Another idea that while sounded good in theory (in her head at least) might not be as effective in keeping the confusion down and not distracting from the sacrament we are trying to focus on. I kept picturing "Dippers" and "Sippers" signs over the alter directing people to their correct water fountain, OH I mean communion wine, my bad.
Well during this lovely discussion I was feeling a little ballsy and decided that I would actually voice my opinion about this situation from my experience in the last 6 months at this church. I basically told the pastor that both of her ideas were not going to work logistically, but in a tone that was supportive and not to harsh (we learned to be smooth in seminary). Well, she looked at me as if I had 3 heads for a) disagreeing with her and b) thinking that I might actually understand the people in a different way than she does. I then suggested that it might be more helpful and less disruptive to the ritual if we added another person to carry the cc and have it available for those who wish to use it. Well then she said that my idea drew too much attention to the American idea of materialism and how we have so many choices and options in our world and that was not how we should present the holy meal of Jesus. I then wanted to point out that we are already talking about offering another option for wine and that how we offer it does not make it any less of a choice for the people, there will still be 3 options! But I bit my tongue (that was another class in seminary).
Those on the committee ended up agreeing with me for the most part and I felt as if it was a moral victory for myself as a Vicar who will no longer just nod and smile all the time when the Pastor speaks her mind and I disagree. There has been many an occasion for which I have wished to confront her decisions and there are many battles for which I choose not to fight but when you start messing with worship, and changing the experience in a distracting way for the people, I have to speak up. So while today was not an overwhelmingly excellent day I have resolved to take my small victory as just that, small, and do some yoga - never knew my legs could bend that way.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
I am not Catholic
This may sound silly to most people but today I realized how un-Catholic I am and how I am an anomoly for my section of New Jersey. I am often scanning around theKnot.com on their message boards and of course frequent the South Jersey board the most for reviews of vendors and such from the area. I find it most interesting when people start to talk about church because a majority of the women on that board are Catholic and for the most part are only Catholic when it is convienent for them - i.e. marriages, baptisms, CCD, communion, etc. So they freak out when it comes time to talk to the priest about their wedding and their marriage because they don't know what to say when the priest asks 'Why do you want to get married in the Catholic church?' - their real answer is that they feel obligated because of family guilt and a mechanical switch that goes off in their minds when they think of weddings - it has nothing to do with their faith or how they think about God which is really sad in my opinion. If I were a Catholic priest (praise Jesus that I am not!) I would be honest with these couples and suggest that they rethink their reasons for getting married in a church - but then again, this might be why I am not Catholic.
The other extreme that I have encountered on this board is those people who have no religion because they do not want to be Catholic, as if the only option for religion is Catholicism and anything else is useless. Although, I have to respect them in some ways for not trying to put on a Catholic hat for their wedding day and then stuffing it back into their closet until they have a child and want it to be 'done' (baptism) so it doesn't go to hell. Somehow a Christian denomination (please note that Catholicism is not its own religion, its Christian and one of many established Christian churches) that maintains membership out of fear of hell and social damnation is either one of two things, 1) really smart because obviously it is working or 2) abusing its power over people and not proclaiming the graceful gospel that is apparent in the bible.
But this is just my humble, educated, experienced, opinion. I will continue to be one of the minority Protestant "Knotties" on that board and will proudly plan a wedding in a church that embraces all people, even Catholics.
*Please note that in this whole blog post I refer to the Catholic Church with a capitol 'C' and not as the catholic church with a lower case 'c'. This is to make certain that those who know that the 'church catholic', which encompasses all Christians, is different than the Roman Catholic Church.
** Also, please do not take this post as a slam to all Roman Catholic churches or parishoners, I have many RC friends and respect those who share in this faith and hope that we can find a day when we will come to worship God together.
The other extreme that I have encountered on this board is those people who have no religion because they do not want to be Catholic, as if the only option for religion is Catholicism and anything else is useless. Although, I have to respect them in some ways for not trying to put on a Catholic hat for their wedding day and then stuffing it back into their closet until they have a child and want it to be 'done' (baptism) so it doesn't go to hell. Somehow a Christian denomination (please note that Catholicism is not its own religion, its Christian and one of many established Christian churches) that maintains membership out of fear of hell and social damnation is either one of two things, 1) really smart because obviously it is working or 2) abusing its power over people and not proclaiming the graceful gospel that is apparent in the bible.
But this is just my humble, educated, experienced, opinion. I will continue to be one of the minority Protestant "Knotties" on that board and will proudly plan a wedding in a church that embraces all people, even Catholics.
*Please note that in this whole blog post I refer to the Catholic Church with a capitol 'C' and not as the catholic church with a lower case 'c'. This is to make certain that those who know that the 'church catholic', which encompasses all Christians, is different than the Roman Catholic Church.
** Also, please do not take this post as a slam to all Roman Catholic churches or parishoners, I have many RC friends and respect those who share in this faith and hope that we can find a day when we will come to worship God together.
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Stupid Allergies!
Well, it's definitely the start of allergy season once again. Last night my throat was getting scratchy and today I woke up with a head full of pressure and no motivation to do anything. Good thing I have a medicine cabinet full of sinus draining drugs that seem to at least make me feel like I can function for the day.
I went to pericope study with my supervisor and was pretty annoyed with her. She tends to dominate the conversation wherever we are, she has a few control issues if you ask me. Last week I went without her because she was on a retreat and it was nice to just listen to others speak for a while - heard some great First Call stories from one of the pastors who was sent to West Virginia. I really like being able to meet with the other Lutheran pastors to chat about their daily lives and struggles for the coming week.
Well it's time for a new Daily Show and I am pretty beat so hopefully tomorrow will go better with these darn allergies!
I went to pericope study with my supervisor and was pretty annoyed with her. She tends to dominate the conversation wherever we are, she has a few control issues if you ask me. Last week I went without her because she was on a retreat and it was nice to just listen to others speak for a while - heard some great First Call stories from one of the pastors who was sent to West Virginia. I really like being able to meet with the other Lutheran pastors to chat about their daily lives and struggles for the coming week.
Well it's time for a new Daily Show and I am pretty beat so hopefully tomorrow will go better with these darn allergies!
Monday, March 06, 2006
165 days to go...
But I am not keeping count or anything
Monday is my day off so I get to sleep in and go to the Y in the middle of the day and shower at 4, it's really a great day in the life of an intern. It's the day that all of a sudden becomes all about us and the lives we have outside of the parish. I get to hang out on TheKnot.com all day and read the message boards and dream about my wedding and how happy I will be to reach that day. The sad part about the day off is that there is technically only one a week. That's right, you might have thought that Pastors only work one day a week but in reality there is only one day in which we are not working - those of you who are PKs know what I mean. This job is demanding and most people in seminary assume that we will be 'on call' 24/7 but that is mostly true. We can be called at any time to attend of a situation that needs our presence but that does not mean that we WORK 24/7. My supervisor said that if we 'work' 24/7 we will never be able to be available for the emergencies that come up that fit into that 'on-call' category so that we will not only become overworked but also unavailable to our parishoners when they need to feel God's presence the most. I agree with her and also think that if we take our day off for granted and work right through it we will lack a sense of self that is desparately needed in ministry because if we cannot figure out who we are how can we preach to our parishoners and expect to know who they are.
Another great part of having Monday as a day off is that I get to stay up late on Sunday night, good thing the Oscars were on TV on Sunday :). I was SO happy when Crash won for best picture because it is amazing film. When I first saw it I was out with a friend from seminary celebrating our last final being finished and we wanted to get off campus for a little while. We had no idea how intense it would be but we were really glad we were able to see it in the theatre. If you have not seen it I suggest renting it and then buying it for use with groups about racism and the way society labels people all to quickly and unfairly. Don't watch it if you are looking for a movie to make you feel better about yourself but watch it because you want to see the world in a very true way. This is, of course, my opinion and anyone else who does not agree is open to do so but in a day in age where things seem all too sugercoated to be reality its nice to see a movie from Hollywood that actually says what the world is really turning out to be.
Well, the dryer is no longer making the floor shake so that can only mean that my towels are now dry. Gotta love the day off.
Monday is my day off so I get to sleep in and go to the Y in the middle of the day and shower at 4, it's really a great day in the life of an intern. It's the day that all of a sudden becomes all about us and the lives we have outside of the parish. I get to hang out on TheKnot.com all day and read the message boards and dream about my wedding and how happy I will be to reach that day. The sad part about the day off is that there is technically only one a week. That's right, you might have thought that Pastors only work one day a week but in reality there is only one day in which we are not working - those of you who are PKs know what I mean. This job is demanding and most people in seminary assume that we will be 'on call' 24/7 but that is mostly true. We can be called at any time to attend of a situation that needs our presence but that does not mean that we WORK 24/7. My supervisor said that if we 'work' 24/7 we will never be able to be available for the emergencies that come up that fit into that 'on-call' category so that we will not only become overworked but also unavailable to our parishoners when they need to feel God's presence the most. I agree with her and also think that if we take our day off for granted and work right through it we will lack a sense of self that is desparately needed in ministry because if we cannot figure out who we are how can we preach to our parishoners and expect to know who they are.
Another great part of having Monday as a day off is that I get to stay up late on Sunday night, good thing the Oscars were on TV on Sunday :). I was SO happy when Crash won for best picture because it is amazing film. When I first saw it I was out with a friend from seminary celebrating our last final being finished and we wanted to get off campus for a little while. We had no idea how intense it would be but we were really glad we were able to see it in the theatre. If you have not seen it I suggest renting it and then buying it for use with groups about racism and the way society labels people all to quickly and unfairly. Don't watch it if you are looking for a movie to make you feel better about yourself but watch it because you want to see the world in a very true way. This is, of course, my opinion and anyone else who does not agree is open to do so but in a day in age where things seem all too sugercoated to be reality its nice to see a movie from Hollywood that actually says what the world is really turning out to be.
Well, the dryer is no longer making the floor shake so that can only mean that my towels are now dry. Gotta love the day off.
Friday, March 03, 2006
Home Visits
I love to visit people at home. It has to be one of the coolest parts of this job that I am training for. I actually get paid to hang out, have tea and swedish cake, and chat with people (mostly older people) in their homes on a regular basis. Sometimes the conversation turns to things that are theological or a listening session about the things that are wrong with the church and need to be improved. Today I had a lovely visit with a woman who probably knows every single person in the congregation as well as their grandparents, she has been around for quite a while. Sharp as a tack and not afraid to express her opinion, this woman really makes my job amazing. Today could have been a day sitting in my office staring at the wall and listening to my iPod but instead I was able to learn a little more about the history of both her family and this congregation.
To stay on the subject of love, I promise that I am not getting mushy about Tim (even though he is HERE!), I am amazed at the love that I have grown to have for this congregation. Each week I find a new reason why they are a great congregation to learn with and from. They take great pride in their public witness in the city and while it sometimes blinds them from seeing the mission renewal that is needed, they are known as being the church that helps anyone it can whenever they can. My "Internship Project" is to revisit their mission statement and reinforce their commitment to mission in the world. I am really excited to help them turn around again and see the world around them through the lens of the gospel.
Tomorrow is kind of a day off but of course I will be working all day getting ready for Sunday. This new lenten discipline will take some getting used to and hopefully in the future my posts will have a little more depth.
To stay on the subject of love, I promise that I am not getting mushy about Tim (even though he is HERE!), I am amazed at the love that I have grown to have for this congregation. Each week I find a new reason why they are a great congregation to learn with and from. They take great pride in their public witness in the city and while it sometimes blinds them from seeing the mission renewal that is needed, they are known as being the church that helps anyone it can whenever they can. My "Internship Project" is to revisit their mission statement and reinforce their commitment to mission in the world. I am really excited to help them turn around again and see the world around them through the lens of the gospel.
Tomorrow is kind of a day off but of course I will be working all day getting ready for Sunday. This new lenten discipline will take some getting used to and hopefully in the future my posts will have a little more depth.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
No more snow!!
Grrrr... After having 25 inches of snow in one day a few weeks ago I am about done with winter in New England. Some of my friends from the midwest will argue that they are also suffering with extreme cold and winter weather as well but there is a reason I left after 4 years - I had enough! As March began I had begun to think of spring clothes and skirts and then we get 6 inches of snow - stupid Northeast. Every meeting I had planned for today (there were 3) was cancelled and all of a sudden my very busy day became very free and I was quite bored. I ended up shoveling snow and cleaning off my car, twice. So much for getting some stuff done!
So for those of you who are not familiar with life in Connecticut let me help you understand what you are missing. One of the first things that I noticed in my time here is that the news broadcasts are for the entire state of Connecticut. Where I am from in South Jersey the news is for the Philadelphia region which includes Philly, South Jersey, Delaware, and even into some parts of PA just west of Philly. There are some nights here in CT when I really think that the producers actually had to make up stories in order to fill in the 20 minutes of air time and there are many stories that just do not make sense in their presentation. For example, tonight there was a brief story about new FDA standards for PRE-CUT VEGETABLES sold in supermarkets and for the video portion of the story they were showing UN-CUT FRUIT - that doesn't match!
I gave each of the 3 networks (Fox is not recognized as an actual news network in my home) a try out in my first few weeks here and I soon realized that none of them actually provided me with the level of quality news broadcasting that I received from my Action News team in Philly. So I decided that I couldn't watch weather with "Dr. Mel" who is older than dirt and talks as if he is about keel over at any moment. So I decided to go with NBC 30 and the 'manscaper' as Tim calls him - someone should tell one of the anchors that his mustache does not meet cultural standards for thickness, a little creepy but at least I don't have to worry about him entering life eternal on air.
I didn't get to go to the Y tonight - STUPID SNOW! - so I will have to visit that topic at a later date.
Tim comes to visit tomorrow!!!! yay!!! Living alone sucks when you are engaged!
Time for the Colbert Report! :)
So for those of you who are not familiar with life in Connecticut let me help you understand what you are missing. One of the first things that I noticed in my time here is that the news broadcasts are for the entire state of Connecticut. Where I am from in South Jersey the news is for the Philadelphia region which includes Philly, South Jersey, Delaware, and even into some parts of PA just west of Philly. There are some nights here in CT when I really think that the producers actually had to make up stories in order to fill in the 20 minutes of air time and there are many stories that just do not make sense in their presentation. For example, tonight there was a brief story about new FDA standards for PRE-CUT VEGETABLES sold in supermarkets and for the video portion of the story they were showing UN-CUT FRUIT - that doesn't match!
I gave each of the 3 networks (Fox is not recognized as an actual news network in my home) a try out in my first few weeks here and I soon realized that none of them actually provided me with the level of quality news broadcasting that I received from my Action News team in Philly. So I decided that I couldn't watch weather with "Dr. Mel" who is older than dirt and talks as if he is about keel over at any moment. So I decided to go with NBC 30 and the 'manscaper' as Tim calls him - someone should tell one of the anchors that his mustache does not meet cultural standards for thickness, a little creepy but at least I don't have to worry about him entering life eternal on air.
I didn't get to go to the Y tonight - STUPID SNOW! - so I will have to visit that topic at a later date.
Tim comes to visit tomorrow!!!! yay!!! Living alone sucks when you are engaged!
Time for the Colbert Report! :)
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Christine rocks...
I need to make a public apology to Christine for not including her in my first post. I am also very excited to now be able to read and comment to Christine's blog because she makes me laugh until I cry. Truly a funny gal! I miss her and will never forget the day that she and Evan (from Hawaii) had their first snow experience in Indiana - you have not seen excitment until you see a Hawaiian see his first snow fall.
So I hope that everyone now knows how much I appreciate Christine's posts and online friendship ;). Everyone should be as lucky as I.
So I hope that everyone now knows how much I appreciate Christine's posts and online friendship ;). Everyone should be as lucky as I.
Ash Wednesday
Remember that you are but dust, and to dust you shall return.
These words were spoken millions of times all over the world as Christians gathered to begin the Lenten season with ashes on their foreheads. For most it was probably a very solemn occasion for self reflection and a resolution for discipline.
For some it was a day to acknowledge their shortcomings and give up chocolate and meat on Fridays for 40 days. One of the older men at the church was fixing one of the doors today and said that while he was at the hardware store someone was walking around with ashes asking people if they wanted some. He said he would get some that night at church but still thought it was quite odd that someone would give out ashes in a hardware store. How far is too far with evangelism? If people are not showing up for church do we really need to bring church to them and lose everything that makes up church? Lutherans understand worship as an assembly of people around the central things of our faith - bath, table, word, and prayer - some might argue you can find these in a hardware store but I still beg to differ. Some might call me a purist but we can't just bring the elements away from the central place and assume that they still retain their meaning. Everytime someone jumps in a pool we cannot claim that they have been baptized. We need to be intentional about worship and instead of worshipping the things that God has given us as signs of the promise of salvation we need to worship the God that made the promise in the first place. If we put too much emphasis on the thing (water, bread, wine, ashes) we begin to worship that which is not God but what God acts through in order to strengthen our faith in the grace we received on Easter. So while I think its a creative gesture to bring ashes to the hardware store I think that the gesture overshadows what the ashes really mean. Let's rethink this shall we?
OK, on a another note from today I just want to tell everyone that I am never buying pleated pants again. For someone who is pretty confident with an iron I have never had as much trouble as I do with pleats. Who said our pants need pleats anyway? What does that little line do except make us look like we wish we had diamond shaped legs? Maybe there should be instructions on the tag about how exactly we are supposed to get that line to be straight and down the middle and make sure that we don't accidentally make two lines - grrrr.... So I hope flat front pants are gonna be in style for a while because that's all I am gonna buy for a very long time.
Maybe tomorrow I will give you some thoughts I have on people who work out at the Y - all of those mirrors really help with the people watching ;)
These words were spoken millions of times all over the world as Christians gathered to begin the Lenten season with ashes on their foreheads. For most it was probably a very solemn occasion for self reflection and a resolution for discipline.
For some it was a day to acknowledge their shortcomings and give up chocolate and meat on Fridays for 40 days. One of the older men at the church was fixing one of the doors today and said that while he was at the hardware store someone was walking around with ashes asking people if they wanted some. He said he would get some that night at church but still thought it was quite odd that someone would give out ashes in a hardware store. How far is too far with evangelism? If people are not showing up for church do we really need to bring church to them and lose everything that makes up church? Lutherans understand worship as an assembly of people around the central things of our faith - bath, table, word, and prayer - some might argue you can find these in a hardware store but I still beg to differ. Some might call me a purist but we can't just bring the elements away from the central place and assume that they still retain their meaning. Everytime someone jumps in a pool we cannot claim that they have been baptized. We need to be intentional about worship and instead of worshipping the things that God has given us as signs of the promise of salvation we need to worship the God that made the promise in the first place. If we put too much emphasis on the thing (water, bread, wine, ashes) we begin to worship that which is not God but what God acts through in order to strengthen our faith in the grace we received on Easter. So while I think its a creative gesture to bring ashes to the hardware store I think that the gesture overshadows what the ashes really mean. Let's rethink this shall we?
OK, on a another note from today I just want to tell everyone that I am never buying pleated pants again. For someone who is pretty confident with an iron I have never had as much trouble as I do with pleats. Who said our pants need pleats anyway? What does that little line do except make us look like we wish we had diamond shaped legs? Maybe there should be instructions on the tag about how exactly we are supposed to get that line to be straight and down the middle and make sure that we don't accidentally make two lines - grrrr.... So I hope flat front pants are gonna be in style for a while because that's all I am gonna buy for a very long time.
Maybe tomorrow I will give you some thoughts I have on people who work out at the Y - all of those mirrors really help with the people watching ;)
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Welcome!
HI! If you are reading this you are probably wondering why I have a new blog. Well, there a few reasons.
1) I was tired of Xanga and I don't think any of my "Xanga Friends" are on that site anymore
2) Tara and Lisa use Blogger and so now that I have an account I can comment on thier blogs which make me weep with laughter all the time
3) Blogging is going to be my Lenten Discipline. People have been encouraging me to 'journal' my thoughts while out on internship and since I am on my computer all the time it makes sense that I would have a blog instead of a pen and paper journal. So for Lent I will be writing everyday - except Sunday because it's not part of the 40 days of Lent ;)
So you might be wondering what the title means. Well, here in Bristol, CT on internship the people (mostly the youngin's) have decided that saying "Vicar Annemarie" all the time will just not fit into their busy lifestyles so they have decided to call me VAm. I have accepted this name amiably because it's better than "Hey you", "That Girl", "Pastor-Lady", and "Chick from New Jersey". One Sunday evening during confirmation the kids were talking about VAm and one of them asked if I would be VAm forever - I said that I hoped not and if I was there was definitely something wrong with me! So they were trying to figure out what to call me when I was a pastor and decided that since PAm was not cool enough because it was already someone's name they decided that I will be SPAm for Special Pastor Annemarie. Gotta love 8th graders!
This has of course launched their imaginations into all kinds of ideas. My car is now the "VAm-mobile" that they think should be fitted for a bible launcher for evangelism. They also make "the VAm signal" whenever they see me which consists of YMCA-ish dance moves that spells out VAm...
So I hope that those of you who will read this blog over Lent and beyond will appreciate my adventures in internship and wedding planning because it really has become an adventure.
1) I was tired of Xanga and I don't think any of my "Xanga Friends" are on that site anymore
2) Tara and Lisa use Blogger and so now that I have an account I can comment on thier blogs which make me weep with laughter all the time
3) Blogging is going to be my Lenten Discipline. People have been encouraging me to 'journal' my thoughts while out on internship and since I am on my computer all the time it makes sense that I would have a blog instead of a pen and paper journal. So for Lent I will be writing everyday - except Sunday because it's not part of the 40 days of Lent ;)
So you might be wondering what the title means. Well, here in Bristol, CT on internship the people (mostly the youngin's) have decided that saying "Vicar Annemarie" all the time will just not fit into their busy lifestyles so they have decided to call me VAm. I have accepted this name amiably because it's better than "Hey you", "That Girl", "Pastor-Lady", and "Chick from New Jersey". One Sunday evening during confirmation the kids were talking about VAm and one of them asked if I would be VAm forever - I said that I hoped not and if I was there was definitely something wrong with me! So they were trying to figure out what to call me when I was a pastor and decided that since PAm was not cool enough because it was already someone's name they decided that I will be SPAm for Special Pastor Annemarie. Gotta love 8th graders!
This has of course launched their imaginations into all kinds of ideas. My car is now the "VAm-mobile" that they think should be fitted for a bible launcher for evangelism. They also make "the VAm signal" whenever they see me which consists of YMCA-ish dance moves that spells out VAm...
So I hope that those of you who will read this blog over Lent and beyond will appreciate my adventures in internship and wedding planning because it really has become an adventure.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)