Today was a sad day for me. A quest that I was on was abruptly ended with a click of a mouse and a feeling of shock and disappointment. Today, I accidentally hit the 'New Game' button during an active, unfinished game of Free Cell sending my streak of 4751 wins in a row back down to zero. I was only 249 wins away from my goal of 5000.
There were so many instances where I could have given up. That game that took me more than half an hour to figure out. The games that I realized that I was too tired to finish and felt that I needed to push through anyway. After all of that perserverance and concentration it was all taken away with an accidental click of a mouse.
For a moment I considered giving up the whole enterprise and filling the time that I had spent playing Free Cell doing something else like reading for class, calling my friends, learning how to bake a pie, or even writing those wedding Thank-You cards that keep staring me in the face. But something tugged at my fingers and lead me to play the next game and to keep pursuing my goal - only 4999 games to go.
Other than this major disappointment today things have been a bit stressful these days. I was an idiot to take 5 courses right after internship but I guess I will be happier when I only have 4 next semester. For now I am usually in the apartment reading or writing another paper while trying to find a balance between all that we have to do in the course of just one week. Married life is great, don't get me wrong, but it would be greater if I had less homework :).
My birthday is on Wednesday and while I am excited to be 26 part of me would rather forget that it's my birthday and move on with life. October has been one of my most favorite months since before I can remember but in the last two years it has been less than stellar. My Mom died on Oct 10, 2004 and my Aunt died Oct 17, 2004 (yup, a week apart) and then one of my most beloved Theology professors at Valpo, Dr. David Truemper, lost his battle with colon cancer on Oct 30 in the same year. So all three of these very important people were lost in the same month in the same year and so October just doesn't have the same spirit for me as it had in the past. But I am taking things one day at a time and letting myself embrace the feelings of loss and pain that accompany this month while still finding joy in the fact that I am now married to the most wonderful man on the planet and that I can still enjoy my birthday even if I can't enjoy it with my Mom.
I promise to post more in the future.
