Wilderness

This Sunday we heard a gospel lesson about Jesus being tempted by the devil in the wilderness. I was inspired to preach about how we are tempted to believe that God has abandoned us when we feel that we are in the wilderness but the promise of our baptism is that God never leaves us, no matter what.

Tim was helpful to point out at one point leading up to Sunday that I was more than likely preaching to myself more than anything else and I have to agree with him. We are indeed in a kind of wilderness as we leave one community of faith and begin to live in another. In the midst of this change we have experienced a range of emotions and have been trying to find the evidence of God in the midst of it all.

I have so many questions racing through my mind this week in between calls. Wondering if it was the right time to leave the first call. Questioning if this is the place where God has called me to be. Wanting to believe that we can trust those who guide this process even when we are feeling less than sure that we can. Worried about the move (not just because of the impending snow storm) and if it will be good for Tim and I as we are more removed from the things we depend on for a well-rounded life. In the midst of all of this change we are called to trust that our anxieties are heard by God as prayer and that those prayers will be answered in God's time. We live in this hope because of our baptism and the promises made and fulfilled in Jesus' death and resurrection.

Hopefully the move will go well, and as planned, and while we live into this season of Lent we will find Easter hope in what God has promised.

Transition

Today was the last day of my first call. I woke up earlier than usual (on time) and was at the church by 7:30am. I was feeling uneasy about how to handle the whole day. I anticipated being emotional about the last day in a place that has taught me so many things. I was able to push down the emotions for most of the morning which allowed me to preach effectively and be gracious about their congratulations and best wishes. At the final benediction I was starting to feel tired and let some tears flow. It felt good to be able to maturely handle this big transition and still convey my love and prayers for this community as they remain there and I continue ministry in a new place.

We packed up my office this week and were able to move it all into the new office this afternoon. It was weird to hand in one set of keys only to be given a new set for a new church and home (the parsonage) within the hour. Our house is in a state of upheaval as we begin to have more of our belongings packed away than not. Each day we are closer to being ready for the movers to arrive at 8am on Friday morning. We are entering this move with some fear and trepidation for what God has in store for us. Change in this vocation is inevitable but we will be in an extended liminal state for this year as we (and the new congregation) discern God's call for each of us. Tim is disappointed that this new church does not have an active choir as one of his passions and sources of faith is in being able to sing hymns and lead the assembly in praising God in song. I am looking forward to having some more freedom in ministry and being in what seems like a less demanding parish. Perhaps it will give me time to read more and blog my thoughts more often.

While I am not especially gifted at writing I do see value in being able to write down ideas to share with others. Blogging is a way to express those thoughts in written form but that can also spur conversation about the topic. I hope to be able to read more often as well. There are so many books that I would love to have time to dig into. If I find time to do so I will be sure to blog my thoughts about them here.

So this transition is in full swing. We will soon be in a new place with new surroundings and new people. We pray that God would be present for all involved in this transition and allow us to see grace and love in the midst of what seems like the wilderness.