"When you grow up..."

One of the more challenging aspects of being an intern is making sure that your role in the congregation is clear as a pastoral leader. I thought that I had done a pretty good job of this through insisting that I be called 'Vicar Annemarie' or 'VAm' and yet today was a wake up call. One of the dear women from the congregation was trying to pay me a compliment - which I was flattered by - by saying "When you grow up you could come be the pastor back at this congregation".

"When you grow up..." I am 25 years old so how old do I need to be before I am considered grown up? I know that she did not mean to sound as ignorant as she did but the fact is that many people in this congregation have trouble taking me seriously because they see me as their daughter, granddaughter, or neice and when you care about someone like that you cheer them on no matter what they are doing. It is nice to have that support but I need them to be my parishoners more than I need them to be my family. In a year I will be ordained and, barring any kind of radical plastic surgery, I will look exactly the same as I do now and I begin to worry about how I can help people to see me as their pastor and not the teenager that they just want to pat on the back.

I just want to be myself with people. If I have to go over the top with the 'adult' behavior people might not feel like I am approachable enough so I am trying to find a good balance. I think that this will be something that I will need to work towards for a while.