So now that my brother has weighed in on the drama that is "Thanksgiving '07" I figured that I would add my two, or three, cents to the conversation - on in this case 'blogersation' (that should totally be a word).

The fall is always tough for my family. We have lots of fond memories of birthdays, anniversaries, and, of course, the holidays. All of these occasions were opportunities for watching football, drinking beer and eating way too much onion dip while women chatted about movies, TV, and fighting over who had a better kitchen gadget and the men hid in the TV room until dinner. It is true, as my brother says, that these gatherings had their own sense of warmth and tradition that helped us to really appreciate our family in a way we might not have otherwise.

With the loss of my Mom, my Aunt Debbie, and my Aunt Karen we are now left with a gaping whole in our lives and, subsequently, our traditions. I can't say that I ever thought about how those traditions would work when we started getting married and such but I am not sure they could get any worse than they are now. And I am sure that I never thought about what would happen if my Dad got remarried at some point. The ramifications of such a union are putting a tremendous strain on my brother and I's ability to hold onto what little remains of our traditions and puts us both in a position of having to choose to be with our Dad or with the rest of our family for holidays, in particular, Thanksgiving.

What is the hardest to understand is my Father's inability to recognize our (me and Ian's) need to be with our cousins. Our family is now unique in that all of my cousins share the same pain, burden, experience of losing our mothers. When something that tragic occurs the only way to gain some kind of perspective is to be with others who have also experienced this kind of loss. My cousin Jenn is trying, without my Dad's help, to establish some kind of tradition to help us all cope with the sadness that now accompanies the holidays. My Dad, though, has been unhelpful with this effort and is making it harder than it has to be to remain a family.

This kind of situation only makes me miss my Mom more and wish that my Dad could somehow understand how much he is hurting the rest of the family. He thinks we should all just get over the loss and move on like he has. Unfortunately, that is impossible for us because whether we liked her all of the time or not, she was our Mother, and that loss is devastating - no matter how old or young you are.

So hopefully we will have a good day and the family will be able to cope with our usual dosage of football, beer, and onion dip even if those who we want to enjoy those things with are gone.

We have been promised life from death and light in the darkness - as the dark grows and the light fades it is now that we need to see life and know the strength of our faith in Christ. Advent is still 3 weeks away but this prayer remains in my heart.

Come, Lord Jesus.